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Satire: “Poll: Romney Still Doing Well With Voters Who Have Never Heard Him Speak”

Thursday, September 20, 2012 13:01
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(Before It's News)

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“Poll: Romney Still Doing Well With Voters 
Who Have Never Heard Him Speak”
by Andy Borowitz

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)— “Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney got a rare piece of good news today, as a new poll showed him faring well among voters who have never heard him speak. According to the poll, which has a margin of error of three points, Mr. Romney garnered positive ratings among voters who agreed with the statement, “I have never seen Mitt Romney say or do anything.” The poll showed Mr. Romney doing especially well among certain demographic groups, including people who had been trapped in a mine cave-in or who had recently awoken from a coma. For Romney campaign manager Matt Rhoades, the poll results offer “an amazing opportunity” for the campaign: “We have to identify those voters who have never heard Mitt talk and make sure they never do.”

“There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.”
- Kurt Vonnegut



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