I Hate Cops

Special to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

Let me just start by saying I hate cops. Yes, I admit it may be an irrational hatred, and I probably shouldn’t hate them—and I certainly shouldn’t admit it. If you are just going to scold me for that stop reading now and go do something else.

I am also going to make wholly appropriate comparisons of cops to Nazis. If that bothers you, or if you feel tempted to misapply “Godwin’s Law” in order to try to shout me down, go away.

I am also going to tell you right now that I am happy every time I hear of a cop being killed. I don’t care what the circumstances are. I hate the fact that innocent people also die in some of the same incidents. “Collateral damage” is NEVER justifiable. But fewer live cops is invariably a good thing. If you disagree, fine. Some people would disagree that the earth is not flat and doesn’t rest on the back of a stack of giant turtles. And that is just how much sense your objection makes to me. So don’t waste my time or yours, and stop reading now.

As I say, I hate cops. And I’m not too fond of copsuckers, either.

I would be perfectly willing to sign an agreement stating that I will exercise my right to never speak to another cop for the rest of my life (obviously, unless I attack or steal and someone else sends cops after me instead of dealing with me like a grown-up), and in exchange I can never, ever expect a cop to come to my aid in any way, in any situation. It would be a low price for such liberty. I’d sign such an agreement in half a heartbeat. The cops could go their way and I’d go mine. I’d never bother them in any way, as long as they didn’t attack me.

I know that would disappoint all the sincere copsuckers who love to claim that libertarians are fond of “hating on cops” until someone attacks us, then we run crying and pissing ourselves, begging for the cops to save us. I’ve never seen it happen, and I suspect it is simply projection on the part of the emasculated copsuckers. So, yeah, I’d sign. I don’t “need” cops. There is no situation so horrible that it can’t be made much worse by adding a cop to the mix.

Sure, some of you may know cops who you believe are “good” people. And, as long as they aren’t <<i>being a cop, maybe they are. I have known cops, and I have had long conversations with some, so don’t whine that I just need to “sit down with a cop over a cup of coffee” so that I can understand them. That argument is so empty it is silly.

I suspect—no, I am <<i>certain that most Nazis were decent people to those they knew. Very few were genuine monsters. The uniform and the swastika was just a “job”—one that was socially acceptable and even honored in society. They probably felt good about their “service”—about protecting society from “anarchy“. Most probably never personally killed an innocent person during their whole Nazi experience. And not many cops are Joe Arpaio, either.

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