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Don’t Take Anything Personally

Thursday, April 18, 2013 4:40
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Imagine that you are in a gigantic mall where there are hundreds of movie theaters. You look around to see what’s playing, and you notice a movie that has your name. Amazing! You go inside the theater, and it’s empty except for one person. Very quietly, trying not to interrupt, you sit behind that person who doesn’t even notice you; all her attention is on the movie.

You look at the screen, and what a surprise! You recognize every character in the movie—your mother, your father, your brothers and sisters, your beloved, your children, your friends. Then you see the main character of the movie, and it’s you! You are the star of the movie, and it’s the story of you. And that person in front of you, well, it’s also you, watching yourself act in the movie. Of course, the main character is just the way you believe you are and so are all the secondary characters because, well, you know the story of you. After awhile, you feel a little overwhelmed by everything you just witnessed, and you decide to go to another theater.

In this theater, there’s also just one person watching a movie, and she doesn’t even notice when you sit beside her. You start watching the movie, and you recognize all the characters, but now you’re just a secondary character. This is the story of your mother’s life, and she is the one who is watching the movie with all her attention. Then you realize that your mother is not the same person who was in your movie. The way she projects herself is completely different in her movie. It’s the way your mother wants everyone to perceive her. You know that it’s not authentic. She’s just acting. But then you begin to realize that it’s the way she perceivesherself, and it’s kind of a shock.

Then you notice that the character who has your face is not the same person who was in your movie. You say to yourself, “Ah, this isn’t me,” but now you can see how your mother perceives you, what she believes about you, and it’s far from what you believe about yourself. Then you see the character of your father, the way your mother perceives him, and it’s not at all the way you perceive him. It’s completely distorted, and so is her perception of all the other characters. You see the way your mother perceives your beloved, and you even get a little upset with your mom. “How dare she!” You stand up and get out of there.

You go to the next theater, and it’s the story of your beloved. Now you can see the way your beloved perceives you, and the character is completely different than the one who was in your movie and the one who was in your mother’s movie. You can see the way he perceives your children, your family, your friends. You can see the way he wants to project himself, and it’s not the way you perceive him at all. Then you decide to leave that movie and go to your children’s movie. You see the way your children see you, the way they see grandpa, grandma, and you can hardly believe it. Then you watch the movies of your brothers and sisters, your friends, and you find out that everybody is distorting all the characters in their movie.

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