Olivia the RV Collie
Thursday, November 14, 2013 12:39
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Olivia the RV Collie
By Prof Jim
Collie is my breed. Olivia, when she is in trouble, Livie
most of the time has become the RV collie. In this case RV stands for “Rammed
Vagina”.
most of the time has become the RV collie. In this case RV stands for “Rammed
Vagina”.
This is Livie setting kind of funny because of her RV. We
are less than two weeks away from the big event. Livie is not the RV collie
because of this coming whelp but because of the long and circuitous route to
this point.
are less than two weeks away from the big event. Livie is not the RV collie
because of this coming whelp but because of the long and circuitous route to
this point.
Livie does not handle a heat like a normal dog. She likes to
play around with it. Most dogs are one week going in, one week in and one week
going out. Livie will start into heat just enough to get the stud wound up like
an eight-day clock but not enough to “take it to the bank” so to speak.
play around with it. Most dogs are one week going in, one week in and one week
going out. Livie will start into heat just enough to get the stud wound up like
an eight-day clock but not enough to “take it to the bank” so to speak.
We had two studs waiting for the call. Bobby lives on a farm
to the South and Skipper lives on a farm to the North. Their owners are
sisters. Bobby is younger and less experienced. Skipper is older and does have
experience. Both soon recognized my truck and were waiting with bated breath
not to mention bated … (well, never mind) before the truck even came to a halt
for my prediction of their forthcoming bliss. I always assured them that they
would be elated because this is the day they would get to R a V. In hindsight I
guess I was just a pimp for Livie and pumping up Bobby and Skipper.
to the South and Skipper lives on a farm to the North. Their owners are
sisters. Bobby is younger and less experienced. Skipper is older and does have
experience. Both soon recognized my truck and were waiting with bated breath
not to mention bated … (well, never mind) before the truck even came to a halt
for my prediction of their forthcoming bliss. I always assured them that they
would be elated because this is the day they would get to R a V. In hindsight I
guess I was just a pimp for Livie and pumping up Bobby and Skipper.
How long does Livie “play around” tantalizing the studs, you
ask? Would you believe she started making promises in early June? She got RV’d September
23! Livie doesn’t just magically translate her week going in to a month, she
makes it a quarter!
ask? Would you believe she started making promises in early June? She got RV’d September
23! Livie doesn’t just magically translate her week going in to a month, she
makes it a quarter!
I was beginning to get a complex seeing Bobby follow Livie
all over the yard with his nose up her butt whimpering, “Is this the day?” His “day”
consisted of getting growled off and snapped at when tried to get romantic. So,
the normal scene became: Load Livie back in the truck; Tell Bobby, “Tomorrow”.
I made 50 trips to one farm or the other if I made 1.
all over the yard with his nose up her butt whimpering, “Is this the day?” His “day”
consisted of getting growled off and snapped at when tried to get romantic. So,
the normal scene became: Load Livie back in the truck; Tell Bobby, “Tomorrow”.
I made 50 trips to one farm or the other if I made 1.
Fortunately, for my honor, and to the credit and patience of
the studs, they always seemed to comprehend that my looking at Livie for
swelling and discharge was bad intel given to me by Livie and it wasn’t really
my fault that the poor fellas were running around with an aching member day
after day followed by another day of empty promises. Apparently Livie smelled
so good that a mountain goat couldn’t keep the stud away even if it was all BS.
the studs, they always seemed to comprehend that my looking at Livie for
swelling and discharge was bad intel given to me by Livie and it wasn’t really
my fault that the poor fellas were running around with an aching member day
after day followed by another day of empty promises. Apparently Livie smelled
so good that a mountain goat couldn’t keep the stud away even if it was all BS.
I did want to find out why Livie keeps spewing out this bad
intel. So, I called some veterinarians who are supposed to be gurus on why
Livie is acting like a bitch.
intel. So, I called some veterinarians who are supposed to be gurus on why
Livie is acting like a bitch.
After I explained the problem to the first one all he said
was, “Oaky doky, why don’t you land in my waiting room?”
was, “Oaky doky, why don’t you land in my waiting room?”
Another just said, “Frankly, I think she should be in heat
for 26 days.” But he offered nothing about what was wrong.
for 26 days.” But he offered nothing about what was wrong.
One just wanted me to continue my patience. “When the time
is right he will explode in her like TNT.” Of course I asked when will the time
be “right”. “I can’t divulge that
information.”
is right he will explode in her like TNT.” Of course I asked when will the time
be “right”. “I can’t divulge that
information.”
While I would like to bring this to a happy ending, I can’t.
Here is how it ended though:
Here is how it ended though:
On Saturday, 9/21 we went to a grandson’s football game
which was near Bobby. So we took Livie along. She actually stood for Bobby! The
trouble was that Bobby was going through the motions without making a deposit. He
must have gotten one good R in her V (I hope) because she let out a yelp. You
do recall I said Bobby was inexperienced. So now it’s Bobby with the empty promises.
which was near Bobby. So we took Livie along. She actually stood for Bobby! The
trouble was that Bobby was going through the motions without making a deposit. He
must have gotten one good R in her V (I hope) because she let out a yelp. You
do recall I said Bobby was inexperienced. So now it’s Bobby with the empty promises.
We then went straight up to Skipper’s place for a second
opinion. He went into auto-hump as soon as Livie was out of the truck. Ahhhh….Age
and experience will beat youth a vigor every time. But still no tie. Back to
Skipper on Sunday. Same. Sue suggested we bring Livie back that evening and put
her in the barn with Skipper overnight then pick her up in the morning. Reserve!
opinion. He went into auto-hump as soon as Livie was out of the truck. Ahhhh….Age
and experience will beat youth a vigor every time. But still no tie. Back to
Skipper on Sunday. Same. Sue suggested we bring Livie back that evening and put
her in the barn with Skipper overnight then pick her up in the morning. Reserve!
The honeymoon happened Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights.
When I picked Livie up Wednesday morning interest had waned so I called it
done. The trouble with it being all done is that I never did actually see the RV.
It was still all done with a big “maybe but not for sure”. I called it
nonetheless. I guess it was Skipper’s form of an NDA.
When I picked Livie up Wednesday morning interest had waned so I called it
done. The trouble with it being all done is that I never did actually see the RV.
It was still all done with a big “maybe but not for sure”. I called it
nonetheless. I guess it was Skipper’s form of an NDA.
Now the good news: The RV happened!!!!
Within two weeks we could hear little heartbeats. Now we can
feel the pups moving. The result of The RV that happened but wasn’t seen should
be here in little over a week.
feel the pups moving. The result of The RV that happened but wasn’t seen should
be here in little over a week.
If the comments so request I will post a pic or two of the
end result of the RV.
end result of the RV.
Think about it.
Source: http://nesaranews.blogspot.com/2013/11/v-behaviorurldefaultvmlo.html
