The Problem with Needing to Be “Heard” – Aligned Holistics

As many of you know, I have a past of complicated, codependent, and crazy relationships. I’ve blamed the men, I’ve blamed myself, and for a brief period of time, I thought I found the answer in couples therapy.

And never before have I been more wrong.

Harville Hendrix, the Founder of Imago Therapy, claims that we can change the world by changing our relationships. That sounds nice, until I truly listened.

He believes that we strive to connect to others in order to experience a taste of the joy & love we once received from our primary caregivers. In a recent lecture, he stated that this connection is our deepest desire and losing it is our greatest fear.

If that is true, then does it make any sense to look to another relationship to fix one from the past?

The belief that we would find joy in a lover’s arms because it will temporarily quell a deeper abandonment issue is the exact reason most of us are codependent. We’re constantly searching for a band aid to cover a hemorrhage.

Read the rest… (alignedholistics.com)