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“I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don’t want to get audited by the IRS.”
On NSA surveillance: “We wanted a president who listens to all Americans – now we have one.”
On a new IRS commissioner: “He’s called ‘acting commissioner’ because he has to act like the scandal doesn’t involve the White House.”
On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: “If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month.”
Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals: “Remember in the old days when President Obama’s biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?”
On Obama saying he didn’t know about the IRS scandal: “He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS.”
“The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject.”
“It’s casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they’re casually going through everybody’s phone calls and records.”
“It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth.”
“Fox News has changed its slogan from ‘Fair and Balanced’ to ‘See, I told you so!’”
On Obama’s commencement address: “He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs.”
On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: “The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi .”
On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: “They took ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House.”
Now the last, and I think best!–
“These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It’s gotten so bad that People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American.”
We’ll never hear anything so harsh (truth hurts) from leftists Kemmel or Fallon, especially on an alphabet network.
Hope Jay comes back soon. The material, especially now, writes itself!
Enjoyed the zingers…thx!
Yes the truth must hurt real bad! What? Now after all these years NBC can’t take a joke? I’ll never watch nothing on their network or buy anything from their sponsors until Jay is back! NEVER!
Uploader is too good for BIN. Would suggest moving blogspot or even YT
Come on guys, this is bull with a capital B, he retired, what to do with the trillion dollars now, retire and have a good time pursuing another career, that’s what I do if I had amassed a fortune like that, wouldn’t you.
The thing about Jay Leno was he has always had integrity. He has a set of values, don’t believe me, thiink about what he collects, old cars. These old cars represents a America our children will never get to see. Though I must say the public was blissfully asleep dreamin the dream. I think Jay spoke truth to power because that is who he is. God Bless Him and keep him safe. Because in days where deception is rampant truth truly is a revolutionary act. I forget who said something on that order, but I get it.
George Orwell
Come on now, Leno has not been funny since 1996. While these one-liners are decent, if you’ve suffered through more than one episode of his tonight show, the same lame repetitive unoriginal jokes are the real reason Jay was dumped in favor of the actually funny Jimmy Fallon. Check the ratings…
Rightwingers sure like to fantasize a lot.
Geez StavoV, and idiots such as yourself, like to prove the point over, and over, and over again…
poor jay i miss him