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Are We All A Little Bisexual? Exploring Gender Identities & Cultural Programming
Are we all bisexual at our core? How much of our sexual orientation is influenced by cultural programming around sexual identity?
My curiosity with these questions was sparked after reading an article by Mike Iamele, fascinatingly titled, I’m An Otherwise Straight Man (Who Fell In Love With His Best Friend). Mike unabashedly shared his story with the world, which revealed how he developed romantic feelings for his best friend and roommate, Garrett, after a life threatening illness left Mike debhilitated and needing assistance. Because of their close friendship and shared living situation, Garrett stepped up as Mike’s caretaker.
“My roommate, Garrett, one of my best friends at the time, took pity on me. He took care of me. He picked up my prescriptions from the pharmacy. He cooked me dinner. He stayed in on Friday nights to watch movies. He’d even rub my back when I was in pain.”
Two months into the routine, Mike said romantic thoughts began to creep into his head.
“I had a thought — a tiny, little thought — that I loved him. It seemed preposterous. It seemed laughable. I shooed it away immediately. But that thought started creeping into my mind whenever he was away. That thought sneaked in whenever he did something nice or made me laugh.”
Eventually Mike came to terms with these thoughts as something very real. He decided to tell Garrett one evening, and Garrett revealed to Mike that he “loved him too.”
“We had no idea how to make this work. We had no idea if this even could work. Sometimes we still don’t. It took time — years even — to figure it out. But it’s a relationship. None of us know what we’re doing. We just try and negotiate and compromise. And, little by little, you become just another boring couple.”
Mike revealed that yes, he is an otherwise ‘straight’ man in love with another man. His thoughts around his relationship are fascinating,
“I would never reduce Garrett down to just being a man… He’s a pharmacist and a good cook and a great cards player… I love him for who he is, not what he is. We’re more than our gender. We’re more than one attribute. And sometimes we need to remember that. We have this myth of identity — that who we are is the summation of a lot of choices we made in the past. In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.”
Mike’s words are powerful and couldn’t be more accurate. Should we so quickly and directly be defined by our decisions? Should our sexual identity be limited by predisposed cultural programs? I became very curious about human sexuality.
At our core, are we all open to bi-sexual experiences? Is our mono-sexual (hetero or homo) orientation and identity more so influenced and decided by cultural programming?
Source: http://truthisscary.com/2014/10/are-we-all-a-little-bisexual-exploring-gender-identities-cultural-programming/
