No Sweets, Just Drones: Happy Halloween from 21WIRE

Who knows what Henry Kissinger and the boyz get up to while running around in Wicker Man animal masks in the woods at Bohemian Grove every summer, but one thing is certain: history has not been kind to this remorseless war criminal. A shrewd operator who is responsible for countless deaths worldwide, yet still lionized by fellow war hawks like John McCain…

If you check the Encyclopedia Britannica for the definition of compromised psychopath, you might find an image of this rare and dangerous hawk-like creature commonly known as Senator John McCain. If you see him in your neighborhood – whether it’s in the US (like Sasquatch and the Yeti, this remorseless monster has also been spotted overseas multiple times, both in the Ukraine and in Syria), turn off the porch lights and lock all of your doors and windows. Note: this political wilderbeast is sometime seen in the company of other similar breeds…

This creature is commonly known as Senator Lindsey Graham. He is historically significant in that he is the first circus sideshow creature who escaped captivity and amazingly – ran for US president. The odd breed of ‘chicken-hawk’ loves war, bombs and killing Arabs, and yet, more effeminate and not as intelligent or cunning as the McCain breed of critter, but this one has been known to lash out at strangers, but fear not – his bark is much worse than his bite. Whatever you do, DO NOT feed this rabid political monster. Note: the Graham critter can be seen often in the company of another rabid political creature and a parasitic financial lobby which lives in the swamps of Washington DC…

This one is known as the ‘Bibi’ monster, and his bark and his bite are equally lethal. He is so scary even he cannot bear to look at himself in the mirror each morning. This rare breed is a very popular animal attraction for Neoconservatives and junior Republican Senators in Washington who fawn over him and who also enjoy the financial gifts that the Bibi monster brings each year. The Bibi monster is especially dangerous if you are an Arab. If you see this one in your neighborhood we can only advise the following: run! Note: the Bibi monster is especially attracted to a similar political creature who loves bathing in Washington DC’s massive underground pool of slush funds…

This one is commonly known as “Madame Secretary” or “Hillary”, and she is especially dangerous, especially if challenged. Behind this one you will find a trail of unexplained casualties. This one has been known to laugh off public executions and shows absolutely no remorse whatsoever when it comes to her conquests. Very rarely, you might catch a fleeting glance of this one in the company of her former mate and partner in crime, who unfortunately, like his wife, is just a bit long in the tooth…

Luckily, this aging critter, commonly known as “Slick Willy” or “Bill”, is not as lethal a predator as he once was, but still has a lust for power and might become dangerous again if his former mate managed to break into the White House next year.

Despite multiple heart transplants due to stress and living large off the US tax payers, this dangerous reptilian creature still remains active in the Washington DC area, and has also been spotted in the wood in his native state of Wyoming. Commonly known as “Dick”, this one is particularly dangerous even to his friends and has been known to shoot his friends while out on a leisurely hunting outing. In his prime, this Dick was especially deadly and is directly responsible for millions of deaths in the Middle East, as well as suspected as being involved in facilitating the Attacks of Sept 11, 2001. Note: this one can sometimes be seen on the prowl with another similar aging breed of dinosaur…

This old curmudgeon spends his time traveling between Australia, New York City and Israel. Commonly known as “Murdoch”, he is perhaps one of the world’s most dangerous political monsters because his job is to convince the world that other psychopathic scary monsters like “Dick” are just decent, regular folk trying to make a government wage. If you see Rupert, you know that a war beckons. He loves war, killing, bombs, genocide but most of all, he loves money. This one is also best friends with another vile and crafty viper…

This is perhaps the most crafty scary creature you will encounter in the political underworld. Commonly referred to as “Tony”, this animal has no fixed abode and is forced to travel constantly because he is one the world’s most hated and despised political creatures and is paranoid he will be apprehended for his war crimes. This one has a particularly special talent in that he can lie to the public while still maintaining a phony smile. Very cunning, and not to be approach without proper protection.

Stay tuned, after midnight we will unveil the three SCARIEST monsters of all…