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Over the years as my eyes have been opened to what is really going in the world behind the curtain and smokescreen of appearances, it became increasingly clear to me that just trying to change the world without changing oneself through sincere self-work is a dead-end road, or, like Don Quixote, chasing illusory windmills. Gandhi was right, we must be the change we want to see in the world.
However, I got into self-work before even starting to look at the world more critically and questioning what we’re being told and taught. Dealing with depression growing up, not able to “fit in” and being emotionally very sensitive, I just wanted to understand and figure myself out. My internal suffering lead me to the works of Carl Gustav Jung, J. Krishnamurti, and eventually to G.I. Gurdjieff and other esoterica, psychology, shamanism, and the healing arts like bodywork, breathwork, meditation, qigong, and yoga, all of which have been (and continue to be) very healing and insightful. Drumming and music have also been a big part in my life and very therapeutic, releasing emotions physically and creatively. Diet and nutrition are important factors as well, because what we eat affects our thinking process, emotional states and overall well-being. Essentially, self-work is an ongoing process that is different for each person and just takes on different levels and qualities.
I also came across certain New Age material and pop psychology which seemed to be a gross distortion of what true self-work and raising consciousness entails. Nothing really got resolved by just focusing on the “good”, ignoring the “bad”, meditating on “peace” or visualizing what I’d like to have/be/do. It merely put me into a blissful ignorant state of mind with a very superficial understanding and experience of love, lying to myself all along.
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Every Day is Earth Day