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You see I've been feeling a little flat lately, not depressed but definitely flat. 

 It kind of feels like I spent a lot of last year on auto pilot. 

The initial diagnosis while on my U.S tour, the stress of finishing my workshops with uncertainty about what I was facing, the return home and subsequent round of appointments, tests, treatment. 

Getting through what I needed to do to get well, giving myself time to pause, rest and reflect. 

But somewhere in there I started to feel unhappy and anxious about losing the momentum I had worked so hard to build up over the past 5 years. 

I began to doubt myself, to dwell on thoughts that didn't serve me, staying up later than I should, spending more time on social media than I needed to, drinking the extra glass of wine more often than I should, reflecting on the sad aspects of our empty nest instead of the joy of knowing our girls are out in the world doing amazing things. 

Losing my way a little.

Being with the new day as it begins is one thing that brings me a lot of joy and a great sense of peace, so this morning, for the second day in a row, I woke before the sunrise and meditated for just a few moments, distracted by the gorgeous colors in the sky outside.

Throwing on some clothes I walked the block to the beach and who should be sitting on the fence of the nearby caravan park but my kookaburra friend with another reminder to look for the joy!

At the top of the stairs down to the sand I took a deep breath

Took in the miracle, the wonder and the certainty of another new day

With just a passing flock of pelicans and a lone nearby seagull for company

I decided to stay in a state of awe and wonder for as long as I could this day