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"Real Housewives of Miami" Episode 4 Pork the other white meat
Seriously God, why, why do I watch this horrible show? I’m still trying to figure this out, but each week I come back just hoping that it will be a little less terrible than the week before. Nope, not this week kids, this week we head to the slaughter house. For realsies, this is gonna be short and stinky, because the show stunk. I’m a li’l grouchy today due this horrific show, so keep that in mind. Okay, deep breath, let’s get this over with…
It’s Alexia’s turn to host the weekly Housewife lunch and she decides to have a Cuban pig party, so it’s off to the slaughter house to pick us out a piggy. Blech, no need to have to see the pig being carried off Bravo. I’ll never eat a piece of bacon again, so thanks for that. Jerks.
Marysol got herself engaged to Philly the French dude and it was such a made for TV moment. Philly was all, your daddy can’t pronounce my last name but he said sure, what the hell, so I went and met up with yo’ mama witch and bought a ring from her. Let’s do this okay? I don’t know if it was all the Botox, but Marysol didn’t look too excited and asked if he was joking before saying yes. It just gave me the warm and fuzzies, ya know. My biggest question was when did Elsa start hawking jewels?
Larsa just became a li’l more unlikable this week,if that’s possible, with yet another nanny issue. Hey girlfriend, maybe it’s not the nanny, maybe it’s you. Yup, I’m pretty sure it’s you, and since it’s so hard to find a good nanny, here’s a thought for you….raise your own children. I know, crazy thought huh?
Cristy complained to a friend about Lea invoicing her a bill for her tickets to the charity event she crashed, calling her tacky. You know what’s tacky? A nobody who thinks they are somebody crashing a charity event and acting like she’s doing people a favor by showing up, that’s tacky. Cristy do the world a favor and just stop talking.
At Alexia’s pig bash, Lea takes offense at the pig being cooked in front of them calling it barbaric. Way to bring the class girl, insult your host and their culture. Awesome. You know what I found barbaric Lea? The way you try on clothes like a homeless woman layering up for a cold winters night, that’s what I find barbaric. Oh and those jeans were not cute, they were horrific. Straight up slaughter house horrific. Moving on.
Marysol announces her engagement and Lea starts to screamlaugh about Philly needing a green card. Poor Marysol just sat there sucking on a pig bone and shooting laser beams at Lea. Oh and it seems like the trip to the local pig house of death was not worth the trip because almost all the guest passed on the pork. I guess watching the corpse roast on the grill changes your mind about the other white meat. But after watching Marysol’s reaction to Lea’s comments, my guess is that Marysol wouldn’t mind Lea being the next pig on the grill. Just sayin’.
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