(Before It's News)
What do you get when you combine Toddlers and Tiaras and The Real Housewives of New Jersey? You get Jersey Cheer, my friends. ZOMG! It’s my new favorite! I will freely admit, I have 3 girls under 9 who are at a competitive cheer gym in Wakefield, MA, so this was so right up my alley because cheer moms are a breed all their own. Oh and yes, cheering is a sport, for those of you who doubt that I suggest you try keeping up with the schedule these kids have. Let me know when you can breath again, mmmkay? So let’s sit and chat about Jersey Cheer….
Patty-Anne is the owner of CJA cheer gym and she is my new favorite Jersey chick. She’s a short,tanned, screamer who has her own language that from this point on will be called Pattisms. Here are a few Pattisms for you “Drop the lilly white bread thing and find your color within” “Holy Crap, can you recovah?”, that’s just a li’l taste for you, check out the show if you want more. Anywho, competition is in 2 weeks so Patty-Ann calls in Jonathan Lewis, because these girls are gonna WIN! Patty-Ann ain’t havin’ another year where the girls place poorly in Worlds because of a dropped stunt. Hell to the no, so bring on the ringer. Jonathan works the girls and while like Patty-Ann says, it needs some tightening all over they have a solid routine and look great.
We get to see Patty-Ann and her daughter Gina,also a cheerleader at CJA, check out colleges and another cheerleader Jackie has her sweet sixteen and we see the girls out of the gym. Super cute. Back to the cheering part. Hey, don’t judge me, I want to see the Jersey Cheer Mom’s in action.
Patty-Ann has a pre-competition show for the parents and we get to see some mama’s and daddy’s shakin’ what they got along with their daughter’s routine. Patty-Ann tells the parents not to bring any stuffed animals to the competition and that if they buy their daughter a stuffed animal she will “set it on fiyah.” Uh, okaaay. Looks like somebody’s still upset about a childhood memory. Moving on. One of the girls has a bobble and Patty-Ann looks like she may vomit, but the girl pulls it together and keeps her heel stretch up. Patty-Ann talks to the parents one on one and it’s nice to see that she has a family like atmosphere at her gym, where the kids come to her and she always backs the parents up.
The day of the competition comes and you can just tell that these kids are sweeeaaaattttinnnn’ it. I actually thought the li’l thing that fell last years was going to vomit. So they go out there and in true Jersey style the cutie in the front gives herself a sign of the cross and kisses it up to God. Love that kid. The girls rock out the routine, when out of nowhere Baby May takes a tumble out of her Tick-Tock. Daaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnn it, kid! As soon as I yelled it in my living room I felt bad and a little weird because I was screaming at a teenager on tv, and not in the way that I do when I watch Teen Mom. I actually was rooting for them to win because of how hard these kids worked. Patty-Ann gives a “C’mon bishes” shout out and then tells the girls they will discuss it at another time. We all know she’s just waiting for the camera crew to leave, then it’s on like donkey kong.
So CJA’s rival The Comets come out and BAM their stunt falls, which I have to say, I was hoping for. I mean I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but yeah, I wanted them to fall. Even playing field and all that jazz. Loved to infinity and back how Patty-Anne told her girls that they would most likely take 2nd and that if they didn’t display the utmost class, she would cutta bish . They announce 1st place and……CJA wins! Yay hugs all around and it’s a feel good ending.
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