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4 Ways to Reconnect with Estranged Family Members
Friday, October 19, 2012 1:40
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The following is a guest post from Alvina Lopez.
As we grow older, we become more cognizant of the fact that
the world is a lonely place, and all we can do is hold on to our nearest and
dearest as tightly as we can. But life has a funny way of sometimes creating a
painful distance between you and those closest to you. It’s fairly common for
many of retirement age to be estranged from their children and grandchildren,
from their siblings, from close friends. But if there’s one thing that
contributes to good health in old age, it’s having a close-knit family and
circle of friends. If you’ve become estranged from your family, here are a few
ways to reconnect.
the world is a lonely place, and all we can do is hold on to our nearest and
dearest as tightly as we can. But life has a funny way of sometimes creating a
painful distance between you and those closest to you. It’s fairly common for
many of retirement age to be estranged from their children and grandchildren,
from their siblings, from close friends. But if there’s one thing that
contributes to good health in old age, it’s having a close-knit family and
circle of friends. If you’ve become estranged from your family, here are a few
ways to reconnect.
1. Reach out several times. Not just once.
The main reason that so many
familial relationships deteriorate over the years can often be traced to simple
lack of communication and stubbornness. Perhaps you feel that you’ve been
wronged by a family member, or vice versa. The other thinks you should make the
effort, whereas your reality dictates that they should make the effort. This
situation can often lead to a communication deadlock that can last for years.
Instead, offer an olive branch and make the effort yourself. Let go of whatever
it is that’s holding you back. And try not just once, but several times until
your family member comes around.
familial relationships deteriorate over the years can often be traced to simple
lack of communication and stubbornness. Perhaps you feel that you’ve been
wronged by a family member, or vice versa. The other thinks you should make the
effort, whereas your reality dictates that they should make the effort. This
situation can often lead to a communication deadlock that can last for years.
Instead, offer an olive branch and make the effort yourself. Let go of whatever
it is that’s holding you back. And try not just once, but several times until
your family member comes around.
2. Forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Whatever it is that’s holding
you back from being close with your loved ones, it’s likely that both parties
were in the wrong. If your son or daughter no longer talks to you out of shame
after some argument, go out of your way to forgive them. Don’t just forgive
them in your heart, but forgive them with words. On the flipside, if it’s you
that’s caused the schism with your family members (even if it’s a
misunderstanding), admit to your transgressions and ask for forgiveness.
you back from being close with your loved ones, it’s likely that both parties
were in the wrong. If your son or daughter no longer talks to you out of shame
after some argument, go out of your way to forgive them. Don’t just forgive
them in your heart, but forgive them with words. On the flipside, if it’s you
that’s caused the schism with your family members (even if it’s a
misunderstanding), admit to your transgressions and ask for forgiveness.
3. Confront the issues.
Asking for forgiveness is a
good start, but it won’t go extremely far in your pursuit to mend broken
relationships. You and your family have become estranged from each other for a
reason or set of reasons. You cannot forgive each other and then proceed to
ignore the elephant in the room. No matter how painful it is, talk about what
went wrong. Don’t argue; discuss. Talk about how you felt, and explain that
actions are often perceived in different ways by different people. Whatever you
do, talk through all your problems.
good start, but it won’t go extremely far in your pursuit to mend broken
relationships. You and your family have become estranged from each other for a
reason or set of reasons. You cannot forgive each other and then proceed to
ignore the elephant in the room. No matter how painful it is, talk about what
went wrong. Don’t argue; discuss. Talk about how you felt, and explain that
actions are often perceived in different ways by different people. Whatever you
do, talk through all your problems.
4. Once you’ve resolved problems, follow
through.
through.
Reuniting, talking, forgiving
all have strong roles to play when mending family relationships. But it doesn’t
end there. After being estranged for so long, it’s so easy to slip back into
old habits. The reason you’re seeking reconciliation is to have a strong
relationship. And strong relationships are tended to with patience, care, and
communication consistently. At the very least, call your loved ones once or
twice a week. Remember birthdays. Show your love.
all have strong roles to play when mending family relationships. But it doesn’t
end there. After being estranged for so long, it’s so easy to slip back into
old habits. The reason you’re seeking reconciliation is to have a strong
relationship. And strong relationships are tended to with patience, care, and
communication consistently. At the very least, call your loved ones once or
twice a week. Remember birthdays. Show your love.
Do you have personal stories of family estrangement and
subsequent reconciliation? How did you get through it?
subsequent reconciliation? How did you get through it?
A freelance writer and blogger, Alvina Lopez now mainly contributes her expertise about online colleges
to accreditedonlinecolleges.com.
Her ultimate goal is to help future students discover their potential by
enrolling in the right program for them. She also writes about trends in
education, personal finance, and sustainable living. She loves getting feedback
from her readers at [email protected].
to accreditedonlinecolleges.com.
Her ultimate goal is to help future students discover their potential by
enrolling in the right program for them. She also writes about trends in
education, personal finance, and sustainable living. She loves getting feedback
from her readers at [email protected].
2012-10-19 01:04:14
Source: http://anthonyssong.blogspot.com/2012/10/4-ways-to-reconnect-with-estranged.html
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