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The Hidden Truth About Aspirin
The Peoples Chemist
Bayer didn’t “invent” aspirin. Mother Nature did, sorta.
Today, most people think of aspirin as a harmless wonder drug – able to stop pain, fever and even prevent heart attack and stroke, without risk.
Not true. History proves it…
Thousands of years ago, humans witnessed injured bears (not the Chicago Bears) gnawing on the bark of white willow trees. Some dude – probably an earlier rendition of The People’s Chemist – assumed that it was done to relieve pain.
After a long night of drinking away his frustrations with people who talk more than they think, he decided to test his theory. Hungover, the young chemist made a tea from the bark. It tasted like shit. But, almost instantly, his discomfort melted away.
Despite his gluttonous indulgence, the crushing pressure on his head was released. It was like cheating and winning. White willow bark became the official pain reliever not only for bears, but also for many other party-goers astute enough to follow his lead…
Hippocrates Shuns Food
Greek physician Hippocrates heard about white willow bark…This is same guy that nerdy nutritionists today quote as saying, “let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.”
Well, thank God he started taking tips from chemists. Drugs are more fun than food and far more interesting. Eventually, the doctor put the real medicine to use, and it worked – drugs like white willow bark are much more reliable than a f*cking apple when you need relief. It’s rumored that Hippocrates later said, “Chemists are awesome tutors and fun to party with.”
As time past, Big Pharma got excited about the pain killer. This laid the groundwork for the eventual isolation and synthesis of a molecule known as salicylic acid – one of many ingredients found in white willow bark.
To their distress, the industry couldn’t market the natural ingredient as their own. (You can’t patent Mother Nature, yet.) In order to have a monopoly, they had to alter it a bit. Chemist Carl R. Gerhardt was the first to do so in 1853.
Bayer Steals From Mother Nature
Starting with the parent compound, Gerhardt performed a series of laboratory reactions. This yielded a molecular cousin. The newly devised willow bark-fake was named ASA (acetyl-salicylic acid). It marked one of the earliest and most profitable thefts from Mother Nature. Bayer trademarked it as “Aspirin” in 1889. Some say the name was derived from St. Aspirinius, a Neapolitan bishop who was the patron saint against headaches.
As aspirin popularity grew, the inherent risks surfaced. (So much for being a saint…) The small molecular change made for big dangers.
Why Aspirin is so Damn Risky
Like deflating a tire, aspirin depletes the body of life-saving nutrients. These include folic acid, iron, potassium, sodium and vitamin C. Symptoms associated with such depletion include: anemia, birth defects, heart disease, elevated homocysteine (a risk factor for heart disease), headache, depression, fatigue, hair loss, insomnia, diarrhea, shortness of breath, pale skin and suppression of the immune system.
Internal bleeding is one of the biggest risks. Studies show that aspirin users die sooner compared to those not taking it.
I came here to hate. Instead, I lol’d.
she puts things in her holes?