6 Fictional Lands We Should Bomb Once We’re Done With Agrabah

Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb… Agrabah? While U.S. airstrikes in Syria continue to dominate foreign-policy headlines, the Republican electorate won’t so easily forget about another Middle Eastern menace. According to a new poll from Public Policy Polling, 30 percent of Republican voters nationally support bombing Agrabah. Just 13 percent are opposed, while the rest remain unsure. 

Agrabah, for the record, is not actually a real country. It’s the name of the magical kingdom where the Disney movie Aladdin takes place. 

Results of more serious questions from the same poll are too depressing—more than a quarter of Republican voters think Islam should be illegal in America; almost half support the creation of a national database of Muslims; and “looking back,” only 49 percent think Japanese internment camps during WWII were a bad idea—so let’s just stay in the realm of make believe, shall we? Here’s are six more fictional enemies we’ve got our eye on… 

ARENDELLE

Can you really trust a country where women’s eyes take up half of their faces and the snow talks?

NARNIA

I don’t want to live in a world where we can’t even trust our children alone with wardrobes. 

LATVERIA

That’s a nice isolated European country ruled by a paranoid, evil dictator you’ve got there. It would be a shame if someone had to force a violent regime change… 

THE LAND BEFORE TIME 

The great Tyrannosaurus menace must be contained! 

CANDYLAND

Obesity epidemic, hello.

MORDOR

We will not capitulate to radical Orc extremism.