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When I was a kid, I lived in the Soviet Union with my parents. I remember not having access to a lot of things the first world has access to, including toilet paper. We would use cut up newspaper to wipe. I remember sitting on the toilet as a little kid, and mashing up pieces of newspaper in my hands to make it just a bit softer. Because… have you ever tried to wipe with newspaper?
TMI? Probably. But there’s also a point. I remember people would literally squat in alleys, pee on apartment building landings, etc., because what public toilets there were would make even the strongest stomach turn. It wasn’t unusual to walk through the grass in the park and step in human feces. It was disgusting, but what can you do?
There’s definitely no such problem in the United States, as far as I can see. There are copious amounts of public bathrooms that aren’t foul, and porta johns in parks that while not the cleanest in the world, are like hotel bathrooms at the Ritz compared to Soviet shit holes (sans the little tuxedoed dude giving you towels after you wash your hands).
My point is, there’s no excuse for this. None.
Apparently joggers who poop along the path have been an increasing problem for Hampton over the past two years, the city’s Public Works supervisor Scott McKay told NBC station KWQC.
“When the individual does it, it does it right in the lane. It’s not on the center line. It’s not off on the grass,” he said.
The problem has gotten so bad, officials have had to put signs on the bike path asking people not to crap there!
Seriously? What the hell is wrong with people? What makes anyone think it’s acceptable to drop trou in the middle of a bike path, squat, and leave a pile of human droppings where other people jog and bike?
I don’t care if the shrimp and bean burrito feast that you washed down with your PBR the night before all of a sudden decides to peek out of your ass and threaten your $200 UnderArmour jogging tights. Unless your asshole is about to explode painfully leaving a WV sized hole where your rectum used to be, GO USE A PORTA POTTY! And if you have a medical condition that requires you to cop a squat at a moment’s notice, go see a doctor, and ferfuckssake don’t go jogging until you solve your intestinal issues!
It’s a health hazard. It’s disgusting. And it’s apparently becoming more common.
In a supposedly developed nation.
And you wonder why I hate people!
Filed under: Misanthropy Tagged: bike path, jogging, poop