Grief is my twin

My colleague Carole Hemmelgarn is the guest columnist over at Educate the Young this week.  Please read this thoughtful and moving piece.  Excerpts:

March 8^th starts National Patient Safety week and it is with great irony that I write this blog because it is the anniversary of the day my daughter, Alyssa, died from medical errors. I am grateful for the focus being made in the field of patient safety.

However, I want to bring the focus back to the human side of patient safety and that is the patient and family after harm has occurred. There is this aftermath, which is rarely spoken of, and it is what happens to those survivors living without their child, spouse, parent or sibling years down the road.

I’ve come to realize grief is my twin. It will never go away and we have learned to coexist. Please understand grief is not always bad. I find solace in my grief because we speak the same language.  

What most people don’t realize is loss of a loved one, and in particular, a child, changes so many things.

1. Marriage changes.
2. Your children are affected.
3. Your relationship with family members change.
4. Friendships change…..

The most difficult are the milestones your child will not experience: moving through elementary, middle, and high school, not graduating from college, getting a job, married or having children. These events go on for years and this is the aftermath not seen.