Kerry to Rise from the Bed

(Before It's News)

Drunk on painkillers, Secretary of State John Kerry will leap from his hospital bed sometime this month and head to Europe to negotiate the end of Western civilization by handing a nuclear weapon to medieval lunatics.

It will be a miraculous cure, given that he’s been in the hospital for a broken leg for more than a week, longer than the average stay for open heart surgery, which is 4-7 days. On the other hand, as some of you have noted, he may be on his wife’s health insurance plan, not Obamacare.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Secretary of State John F. Kerry will travel to Europe this month for the final days of nuclear negotiations with Iran although he is still hospitalized 11 days after he broke his leg in a biking accident, a senior administration official said Wednesday.

The official said the 71-year-old former senator is eager to rejoin the talks in person before negotiators reach their self-imposed deadline of June 30 to wrap up a comprehensive accord.

“When he needs to be there, he will be there,” the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss the talks, said in a conference call with reporters.

He doesn’t need to be there. Anyone can cave to Iran.  Send Taylor Swift.

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