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Hating your parents is good for your spiritual growth. You won’t uncover the whole truth of yourself if you don’t allow yourself to hate them.
Is it Spiritual Nonsense? Divine Love Spirituality – blog
Hating your parents is good for your spiritual growth. You won’t uncover the whole truth of yourself if you don’t allow yourself to hate them.
The biggest impediment to ones spiritual growth is the belief that we’re not allowed to hate our parents. I know it’s the very opposite of what every spiritual and religious system says, however why are you not happy and satisfied with such systems, why are they failing so many people, and why is humanity racing towards its own destruction with such systems being in place for hundreds and thousands of years. Surely they are part of the problem and not part of the cure. So to find the cure, to truly help yourself, you’re going to have to go against what is said, look for something that is anti all that’s out there, and so begin by looking to hate your parents instead of loving them. Many people say they love their parents, however is such love, true… or is it that it is what they want to believe, have to believe, were even forced to believe. Is it love based solely on feelings, and true feelings at that, or is it love based on beliefs of ones mind?
To do your Feeling Healing you will need to confront all those aspects about your relationship with your parents and family you have been avoiding. There is no other way if you sincerely want to uncover the whole truth of yourself.
If you already hate your parents and want to completely heal yourself and live true, then things will be a lot easier for you to start. If you love your parents, or love certain things about them, yet still want to start your Feeling Healing understanding that even if you love them completely that having grown up in a negative state somewhere inside you will be things that are not right, then you can begin and just take your feelings one feeling at a time and see what happens to your relationship with your parents.
So many autobiographies are filled with the child’s praise of its parents in one sentence, then in the next sentence or the next paragraph things are said that show the parents weren’t as loving as the child has just made out. It’s astounding how much we block out, need to block out, have to block out so as to keep the relationships going, and keep them going because we fear what will happen to us if we stop them. Can you live without your family and parents in your life? What if your healing led you to give them up – how would that make you feel?
Write a list of what you love about your parents, and then write one about what you hate – what they do to you that makes you feel angry or gives you other bad feelings. Now, are you ignoring these bad feelings; is it that that’s how it just is, it always having been that way, that no relationship is perfect, not with your parents and family, not even with your partner, and so you just make the best of it, always working to make it better or just accepting that a compromise is what works best. But is this a good way to conduct a relationship? And do you think it’s too unrealistic to even dream of any relationship being perfect, because everyone has some problem or another – no one’s perfect?
And yet if you want to do your healing and live true to yourself, you are setting out to have a perfect relationship with yourself. And whilst this might sound appealing to you, you can’t just do it alone, you can’t say: oh well, for myself I will strive to be perfect, without having any effect upon the other relationships you have. It’s either: you are striving to be perfect, and so that means, perfect in all your relationships, or you’re not. And at least you can want perfection, even though the other person in the relationship may not.
Can you do your healing, connecting with all your deep-seated anger, hatred and all the other bad feelings you will feel about your parents, and yet still happily see them, keeping up appearances, pretending that nothing has changed within your relationship? I don’t know, you might be able to, but I certainly couldn’t. I needed Marion who hated her parents to help me see that all I called love with mine was false. And I needed her to help me have the courage to turn my back on them, to reject them like they had so often rejected me. I needed her approval to say it’s okay to hate your parents, especially when it’s clear you do. But having rejected them and started my healing, it’s still taken me years to awaken to and then live the full truth of my hatred of them.
Marion and I have made a personal commitment to ourselves to be true, and to be as true as we can in each feeling-moment with each other. We both want to end our evilness and live being truly perfect, living at-one with our Perfect Heavenly Parents – being as perfect as They are. And we’ve made a pact to help each other with our healing, to help each other to accept and express and seek the truth of all our feelings as they come up, and in our different ways we support each other in this. But then in all other relationships I have out in the world I don’t demand they be perfect or that the other person is striving to be true as I am. So I accept them for what they are, they are very limited and I can only share myself to a small degree within them, however as such relationships are only superficial at best, so I don’t expect anything more from them. But it has taken me years to reach this place of understanding about them. And for the time being I am very happy with only Marion as my real friend not needing anyone else. And when I have felt like I’ve wanted and needed other friends, I have expressed the bad feelings I’ve had about not having them, and once I’ve uncovered the truth of such feelings I find I no longer want other closer friends. However this is how it’s been for me, which may not be how it will be for you.
And then there is another whole universe of understanding about what will happen to your relationships with your children should you start your Feeling Healing. Depending on how young they are they too might want to live expressing all their feelings and seeking the truth of them. Or if older they might reject your new feeling-led way preferring to stay as they are. So your relationship with them might get stronger and deeper and more fulfilling, or it might not; but either way, it’s your life and you have to take care of yourself. And if you want to live true and heal yourself above all else, and if that means that along the way you have to end all your relationships, with your parents, spouse, children and anyone else, then so be it. And as hard as it might be to do, or even to consider it, the truth is that if it were to happen then really it’s already happened and your soul is simply waiting for you to catch up.
And if it’s not meant to happen because there is real and true love in your relationships, then that love will remain. Sure your relationships will no doubt get severely tested at times, but real and genuine love will ensure they don’t fall apart.
The thing is, because doing our Feeling Healing is new and as we have no one else to go by, it’s really about starting your healing and seeing what happens. And the beauty of it is that it asks you to take the hard steps only when you’re ready to take them. You might be scared of being thrown in the deep end and then what would you do, and such fears need to be expressed and their truth longed for; but the reality is, even though at times you do feel like you’re drowning, it’s all done with the upmost loving care. The things we need to take us to the next step happen, mostly with us not even being aware they are, we go this way and that swept up in the cyclone of our feelings, feeling so bad we beg to die, yet still when it’s over and some semblance of sanity returns and you look at how much you’ve progressed in truth, you can see how it’s all been done for you in the most loving and caring way.
So in reading and understanding that somewhere inside you surely you will hate your parents and be raging with anger at them, and yet you don’t feel such things, don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself using your mind by believing that you should feel such feelings. Just take it one feeling at a time. Accept and embrace your current bad feelings, leave the mind and all the theory out of it. Commit yourself to wanting to be real and true, long for the truth of your feelings, ask God to help you to see the truth of them if God is part of your life; and follow your feelings, for they will lead you into those parts of yourself you need to FEEL when the time is right. And there is, as you will see, always a right time.
And remember there is nothing wrong with hating your parents. You are allowed to, and you should, especially if that’s how you feel. And if you fear God is going to punish you for hating them, or they will somehow hurt you, then these are real valid bad feelings for you to work with, to fully embrace by allowing yourself to fully feel them, to express them, speak about to someone who cares about how you feel, or write about them to yourself or to God; and keep longing for the truth of them – really want to know what is going on inside you, really want to know the truth of your relationship with your parents.
And there will be a lot of truth to see. So keep going as best you can. And if you feel you can’t get anywhere with your feeling expression and no truth seems to be coming up in you, then these are yet more bad feelings for you to fully accept and speak about and long for the truth of. And as you will soon see, the feelings are never ending, as soon as one lot has moved through you the next lot is on your door step. It can be relentless with you becoming quite tired and demented with all your feeling expressing and emoting all the emotions, and with all your longing for the truth, and then being blown out by what truth comes up in you. And so do as you feel, rest or push on, try to keep responding to your feelings as you express them and long for their truth.
And when you’re pulling your hair out with despair, or feeling so miserable and depressed, or you feel like jumping off the nearest high bridge, just keep going, keep submitting to the feelings, speaking about them the best you can, expressing them, saying how bad you feel and saying it with all the bad feeling you are feeling; really try to get into the feeling and let it speak through you, let it speak itself out of you, be it, it is you, so voice it fully using all your will in the feeling of it.
And if you don’t have anyone who is sympathetic to you and understands and approves of what you’re trying to do, then you will have to rely more on yourself and write or try and speak out loud in your mind or to the air venting all you feel; and long for the truth out loud, telling yourself or God what it is that you want and what you feel. The idea is not to simply submit to your feelings allowing them to overwhelm you to the point of them simply blotting you out. You are to plunge into the river of your feelings and swim with it, engaging with them, speaking about them, trying to get them up and out of you, not just allowing them to swirl around whilst you drown in them. You are already drowning in them, you’re up to your eyeballs in unexpressed bad feelings, you will have masses of them hidden away in your soul, and they all need to come out. And it’s up to you as to how you bring them out. And however you do, it’s also up to you to keep longing for the truth of them. If you don’t want to uncover and find the truth of them, then you’ll just indulge in them without getting anywhere with them. A lot of people emote and express and wail and wallow in their grief and pain going round and round in it but never seeming to get out of it. But such people are not wanting to uncover the truth of such feelings, they are only using the intensity of such feelings to further hide from the truth they are not wanting to face. It is far better (so they unconsciously believe) for such people to drown in their bad feelings than to admit the truth.
It is the truth that sets us free. And we have to allow ourselves to want it – every part of it; and it’s all going to hurt and be extremely hard because we’ve grown up conditioned to deny it. But by staying true to your feelings they will take you into those parts of yourself you can find the truth of. And if you embrace it, then you will see how freeing that is.
Uncover the truth of your feelings and you are free! And we uncover that truth by expressing them, bringing them up and getting them out, all whilst we want to know what they are all about – why we are feeling them; The Truth!
More on doing your Feeling Healing
Examples of people working on themselves, striving to live true by looking to their feelings
