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“It’s not the parents who are to blame, it’s society”. It’s not the parents fault that their young teenage daughters are suffering so much, it’s someone else’s fault. Childhood Repression.
Is it Spiritual Nonsense? Divine Love Spirituality – blog
“It’s not the parents who are to blame, it’s society”. It’s not the parents fault that their young teenage daughters are suffering so much, it’s someone else’s fault. Childhood Repression.
Marion and I read all the time parents saying that now they have their own children they feel so sorry for all the trouble they caused their parents. And they excuse their parents for treating them badly because they had no idea what it’s like being a parent. So once again the parents are excused from having to take any responsibility for the very people, their children, who they hurt and caused so much pain. The parents are always right; the child is always wrong – so says our evilness. And nothing will ever change until we understand the reverse of this: that a young child can’t be wrong, that it’s always its parents that are to blame.
Marion was reading about an American psychologist who was trying to understand why so many teenage girls in America were having so many problems. The woman said she’d read and loved all of Alice Miller’s work, with Alice saying, as she does very clearing and many times, that IT’S ALWAYS THE PARENTS FAULT WHY THE CHILDREN SUFFER AND HAVE THE PROBLEMS THEY DO, and then went on to say that even though she agreed with this, it was really society that was the problem and not the parents. So yet here again was a professional with the evidence staring her in the face with so many young girls with such extreme self-worth and self-esteem problems, and even armed with the truth from Alice, still choosing to let the parents off the hook by blaming society. When as Marion says, who does she think society is composed of, who runs society – mostly PARENTS!
We keep avoiding the truth: We are suffering because of our parents. It was our parents that did all the bad things to us, no one else, our parents first, then other influential carers. And even with all that Alice Miller says in her wonderful books we still refuse to get it – that everything that is wrong with us comes from conception through our forming years because of our parents unloving treatment of us. Our parents don’t love us. Your parents didn’t love you. We have to one day wake up and fully accept the enormity of this, both individually and collectively. Our parents might have loved us a little or even a lot, BUT THEY DIDN’T COMPLETELY LOVE US, THEY LET US DOWN, and because of that they’ve caused us all our problems. We are dysfunctional BECAUSE OF OUR PARENTS. And not because of the food we eat, the radiation we’ve been exposed to, the society we live in, the religion we belong to, the city we grew up in, sure, such things help us see we’ve got problems, but those problems are all resulting from our relationship with our parents, our relationships that weren’t true and completely loving. And you might say, yeah well it’s a tall order to have completely loving relationships, our parents did the best they could under the circumstances, and yes, I am sure they did, however that still doesn’t excuse them, and it doesn’t make all that’s wrong with you go away. You are still suffering because of what your parents did to you, no matter what the outside circumstances were. And until you want to bite the bullet and face that truth; until you want to look into and heal all your Childhood Repression, you are going to keep doing yourself a great injustice by letting your parents off the hook and putting yourself down. You’ll keep your parents in the power position, which is having power over you, and you’ll remain the powerless one, with you always being in the wrong whilst your parents are always right.
All those poor young girls don’t understand that the very people they want to feel loved by aren’t loving them truly. They don’t understand that the very family they say they love and the very people who are meant to love them the most and more than anything in the world aren’t as they believe they are. That they, like their parents, are living a fantasy, just like this woman psychologist who was studying these young girls. Few people want to stop the game and deal with the truth, because they fear if they do then their relationships with their parents and family will disintegrate, which undoubtedly they will, because that shows and proves that the relationship is false anyway if it can’t bear such scrutiny.
So all we can do is our Feeling-Healing and Soul-Healing individually seeking the truth of our own problems; and if all the members of our family choose to do this then we can work though all our yuk together, and if not, well you’ve got to get on and do it for yourself. And if there is any real and true love in your relationships with your family and parents it will remain as nothing can destroy true love, yet if your love is false, it will go leaving you with the truth of why it was untrue.
Facing the truth of our relationship with our parents is humanity’s greatest spiritual challenge, and one we keep putting off because we unconsciously know the truth is going to be pretty horrible. So until you come down off your sacred mountain and out of your meditations and prayers; until you stop running away from the truth of yourself; until you reject your religion that keeps parents in the top spot, and face and deal with your own bad feelings looking to them for the truth of yourself and the truth of your relationships with your parents, then any such spiritual or religious exercise is only taking you further away from the truth of your soul. So if you really want to be loving to yourself, then you’re going to have face the truth of your Childhood Repression. As will you also if you are intent on spiritually advancing your soul in truth. All else is avoiding the hard stuff, it’s going off further into your mind deluding yourself that you love your family and your parents loved you and you are a loving parent to your own children. You’re not and they didn’t – face the ugly truth and then things in your life really will start making sense. Then their will be fewer young suffering girls (and boys) who are so mixed up in their feelings all because they are trying to live against themselves; all because they are not allowed – so they unconsciously believe – to face and find out for themselves through their own feelings the truth they are actually living but refusing to acknowledge. Their life is showing them loud and clear, they are sick, they can’t cope, they are breaking down, they are afflicted with all sorts of severe problems and disabilities, their feelings are screaming at them to take notice, to stop and uncover the truth – as hard as it might be to see – their feelings are trying to show them.
So our children keep suffering and society is to blame and the more we increase our technology dependence then that becomes the new culprit. And there will always someone or something else to blame, all because we refuse to blame the very ones who need to be blamed.
free Alice Miller book about childhood repression
real people striving to heal their Childhood Repression – forum
WTF are you talking about? What problems are girls having? You say a lot without saying anything at all.
You obviously still don’t understand what I’m saying Pix. I am revealing a whole new way for people to deal with their problems – those people who are serious about uncovering the truth of why they have such problems, illness, troubles, fears – any bad feelings.
Alice Miller ventured into Pandora’s Box and saw that our Childhood Repression is the key to all that is wrong with us. And that our childhood repression is caused by our parents unloving treatment of us. And we’ve all got some level of repressed – unexpressed – bad feelings and emotions buried within us from our forming years that are causing our pain, and until we bring these up and out of us, and until we want to uncover the truth of why we have them, it all being done though and with our feelings, we’ll remain subject to our pain and suffering still non the wiser for the real deepest underlying causes of it.
The young girls have their problems, just as everyone is denying aspects of themselves as seen by their bad feeling denial. Just as you too are Pix. The whole of humanity denies many of it’s bad feelings. We are all taught one way or another not to fully honour and allow ourselves to feel as bad as we do, all whilst we long for the truth of such feelings. And if we are to ever heal ourselves of all our afflictions and addictions then we are to look into our Childhood Repression. Nothing else explains why we are so stuffed.