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Producing this year’s soon-to-be amazingly accurate predictions was a virtual miracle. I, Nostradamus Jr., spent the month of August and the following two fortnights drunk as a coot on Carolina shine with Lucille (oh those deliciously dangerous curves) at Big Earl’s House of Porn & Bait Shop. Round about late September, I wandered out to the edge of the woods, and being about nineteen sheets to mild hurricane winds, thought it a good idea to wrassal a bigfoot name Norm I’d met years earlier while tormenting an alligator near Hell Hole swamp. Well, I was so whooped up and worn out by the time I pinned Norm in a two-out-of -three match, I wasn’t certain I could keep drinking. I forgot all about my duty to make predictions and walked with Norm as far as the Appalachians to hibernate with some black bears while I recovered. I finished off three triple-X jugs of hootch and tucked myself in between them fat, snoozing bears.
Read the entire William B. “Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher article on the BATR archive page
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