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Are You In Relationships Or Entanglements?
September 27th, 2016
Guest writer for Wake Up World
Do you know the difference between being in a “relationship” with someone and being in an “entanglement” with them?
The idea of relating vs. entangling with others is something I struggled with personally for a long time. I also saw this phenomenon show up in my clients and realized how Universal it actually is. After over a decade of counseling and coaching clients, I’ve come to discover that most people think they are in “relationship” when in fact they are “entangled” and enmeshed with another. This is not romantically specific and happens across the board in all types of connections with other people.
Entanglements can get messy quickly and have a quality of need and a flavor of co-dependence to them. There is often a desire to change the other person. Other times they show up as completely merging in bliss with another, and result in a loss or collapse of self. You find yourself losing your own space and collapsing into what you are calling “The Relationship”. Entanglements often leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled and like something is ‘off’ internally.
True relating comes from a healthy and empowered space of wholeness. It feels light and connective and spacious. There can be a deep love and appreciation for the other person, with a knowing that your survival and happiness is not dependent on them.
Recommended articles by Diana Rose Kottle:
- A Massive Wake-Up Call for Humanity
- Using Our Powerful Authentic Voice, Even When It’s Hard To Speak
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