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Party-Planner Ben taking a break from his rigorous schedule. |
After all these years of schooling and months of military training, my husband comes to me a few weeks ago and tells me that his commander put him in charge of all the details for the coming military ball.
I thought he was kidding and I laughed.
“I’m serious.” he tells me.
Oops.
“Did you tell him that the only party planning experience you have includes balloons, pizza, and party hats?”
“Well, no. But it doesn’t matter. This is different.”
I roll my eyes as soon as his back is turned.
“If I pull this off, it could boast my career,” he says. Or break it… I say to myself. Ben is the most unlikely guy he could have picked. We are talking about the man who wanted to take me to Burger King for our ten year anniversary. (Seriously, not a joke) And I know that balls are also very political for the officers, and well, Ben just doesn’t think like a politician…. so I knew this was going to be interesting.
So, Ben has been spending HOURS at work setting up this ball that is taking place in a couple weeks down in Nashville. I can’t go. There is no way I can get away with the baby’s feeding schedule and I’m not taking him to the ball…. not to mention that I can’t fit into any of my formals right now. So Ben is on his own.
But he is coming home super late, because he was taking care of details… and when he’s home he is on the phone saying stuff like, “No, we can’t shoot off a cannon in the ballroom. Well, tell him that isn’t going to happen!” or “No, the headless ones won’t work. We need the ones with heads… well, call around and see if they have any nude ones they aren’t using….”
Yes. He was talking about mannequins. Apparently, they are working on some sort of uniform display. Ben came home last night and told me that half the day he was driving around on post with naked mannequins in his car and he was really glad he didn’t get pulled over. Then he complained that the Privates he gathered up to help him unload wouldn’t stop groping them — which was apparently, very disturbing to my poor Ben.
The BEST part is that he is in charge of the alcohol being served. Let me rephrase that, they put a MORMON in charge of the alcohol. Whose brilliant plan was that?! Still chuckling over that one….
Then I find my dear husband, this is the man who thinks there is no room in the world for couch pillows, is stressing out and upset that the place settings weren’t working out and talking about color schemes, caterers, budgets, the color guard, and VIPS….
I don’t think I like Party-Planner-Ben much. Party-Planner-Ben is weird. Party-Planner-Ben isn’t the husband I know and love. Party-Planner-Ben is more concerned with mannequins than our baby’s feeding issues and Sam’s teeth problems.
I can’t wait until Party-Planner-Ben is gone and my real husband who talks about blowing things up and jumping out of helicopters is back! Only a couple more weeks….. Hanging in here!
-Cat