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Contributing Writer for Wake Up World
By “freedom” I mean the capacity to live a full life. Living a full life depends both upon external circumstances as well as internal capacities, or psycho-spiritual resources.
Many spiritual paths claim that all we need for freedom is not to be perturbed by life’s ups and downs, to abide in the unchangeability of consciousness, so to be in eternal peace. While I find worth in this state of mind, it also denies many other freedoms, is impractical and unrealistic, and is far from all we need. I find such to be a disengaged disposition, especially because it denies our humanness, living in the world, being in dynamic relationship, appreciating art, and creating justice for all.
Some think the other extreme: that freedom is simply an external experience, to do what one chooses. This seems equally, if not more, problematic and leads to excessive selfishness, consumerism, and a lack of compassion for the biosphere we all share. Indeed, a middle-ground between internal detachment and external attachment would allow us both internal and external freedom, in both easy and difficult circumstances.
This essay will discuss crucial aspect of the inner qualities necessary for freedom, for “wholeness,” or the capacity to live a full life, both internally and externally. And be prepared, because freedom hides in the least likely of places.
Let’s begin with an inquiry. What essential inner qualities for your wholeness — your joy, your thriving, your passion, your enjoyment of and service to life — have you thrown out, denied, run away from? Do you feel you lack motivation, courage, risk, boundaries, speaking your truth, assertiveness, humility, privacy, exposure, compassion, dedication, or commitment? Before reading further, consider grabbing a pen and paper and writing out your answers to these self-inquiries. Then, for each, write a little bit about why you think you lack these qualities. Then consider the rest of what follows, or you can choose to keep reading and return later to this short exercise.
Indeed, one way to view freedom is the ability to feel everything, to reflect on these feelings, to heal from what has hurt us and shut us down, and thereby reclaim the vital inner resources from our pain necessary to live fuller lives. This is emotional freedom — a path to inner freedom that has immediate effects in the material world. and in our relationships.
When we are hurt by certain experiences, we often will often disavow (deny, shun, or negate) these aspects of ourselves, unless we heal from them. Part of this healing is to claim the essence and vitality of that quality and employ it towards good in our lives. Unfortunately, our psyches usually do not automatically separate out the helpful aspects of difficult emotions that we deny. We have to consciously do this. When we do not consciously work with our emotions, we therefore tend to throw the baby of vitality out with the bathwater of pain. When I deny sadness, for example, my unconscious tends to also repress my capacity for self-reflection, relaxation, pause, care, love, and empathy. I thereby lose out on these crucial qualities and experiences. Let’s look at some other examples.
If I grew up with an angry parent, I might squash my anger later in life, secretly or openly vowing not to be angry. Yet, when I deny my anger I also deny some of my passion, vitality, boundary-setting, assertiveness, appropriate control, speaking up for myself and others, and passion to effect change. I might even repress my creativity, as creativity is intimately connected to the energetic of anger.
Anger’s energetic is outward and forceful. Making a living, communication, work, getting stuff done, assertiveness, setting boundaries and exercising control also (to varying degrees) require an outward effort. Expressing joy also requires an extroverted effort, however mild. A pervasive disavowing of anger, therefore, can also lead to depression, because we are repressing the categorical energetic of anger, the whole gamut of our “outward and forceful” expression. If I work through the pain of hurt from anger, however, I can embrace my own anger and release much of its sting. Once I embody my anger, I have owned it, along with its positive aspects. I can thereby use these positive aspects for good, including the appropriate expression of anger.
Previous articles by Jack Adam Weber:
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