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Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow

Friday, November 6, 2015 14:52
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(Before It's News)

7th November 2015

By Bernhard Guenther

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

The universe and life draw people and situations into our lives at times to deal with the personal unconscious – the darkness we need to make conscious in ourselves before we can attain any higher spiritual states. Relationships are very powerful and challenging in that regard as we engage in the dance of shadow projection, triggering unconscious traits in each other.

Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships & The Shadow

When we are in the midst of challenging situations and life takes a downward spiral and everything seems to fall apart, it is hard to make sense of it all. The pain and suffering can be intense, resulting in depression, resentment, anger, guilt and shame. We feel resentment if we feel wronged by another person and we blame him/her for the pain they have caused us. Or we blame ourselves with guilt and shame of how bad of a person we are. So we judge others or ourselves, reacting mechanically and unconsciously.

There is nothing wrong with feeling resentment, anger, guilt or shame. It’s ok to acknowledge and say “Ouch, you hurt me!” or admit our wrong-doings to others and making amends because we feel guilty that we have hurt another person because of our actions. There is a place for healthy expression of negative emotions. It helps us to shine light into things we had suppressed. It only starts to become toxic and self-defeating if we keep lingering on resentment/anger or beating ourselves up with guilt and shame to the point that we diminish our healthy self-worth.

When we can’t let go of resentment and keep feeding our anger by continually pointing out everything the other person is doing and has done wrong, blaming him/her for our pain and getting stuck in victim-consciousness, then this issue is deeper and relates to our childhood wounding which is coming to surface. It relates to our needs not being met by our parents, or old wounds from past relationships we haven’t fully processed and let go of are being reactivated. The same applies if we keep diminishing ourselves with guilt and shame, and making ourselves feel worthless. It relates to our inner child that is carrying wounds we haven’t made conscious yet.

In that sense, negative emotions about ourselves or others can lead us into a downward spiral where we suffer mechanically and unconsciously. However, if we can recognize the triggers and reflect how this relates to our past and childhood wounds, without projecting them into the present and taking things personally, then we can use these negative emotions to sufferconsciously in order to dissolve them, rather than reacting mechanically. When we sufferconsciously it enables us to respond with compassion and empathy towards ourselves and others.

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