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6 Signs Someone In Your Life is a ‘Control Freak’ … and What To Do About It

Sunday, June 5, 2016 14:17

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(Before It's News)

6th June 2016

By Dr. Kelly Neff

Guest writer for Wake Up World

We all know someone who is a “control freak.” He or she can’t seem to stop giving unsolicited advice or tell you what to do, and how to do it. At first, you might actually get along, but soon you realize that the attitude of “listen to me, I know better!” seems to permeate the majority of their interactions, and will ultimately end up pushing people away. Control freaks feel compelled to orchestrate and manipulate people and situations to make sure everything goes “their way,” and even if though their intentions might be benign, it can cause a lot of pain.

Psychologist Thomas J. Schumacher best describes a control freak’s struggle: “Keep in mind that control freaks are not trying to hurt you – they’re trying to protect themselves. Remind yourself that their behavior toward you isn’t personal; the compulsion was there before they met you, and it will be their forever unless they get help. Understand that they are skilled manipulators, artful and intimidating, rehearsed debaters and excellent at distorting reality.”

(For more on the psychological dynamics that fuel a control freak,read this.)

It might be easy to confuse control freaks with narcissists, and while there can be some overlap here, not all control freaks are also narcissists. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is considered a form of mental illness that at least 6.3% of the population experiences which can be highly toxic and is often un-treatable by intervention or therapy (for more on narcissists and NPD, check out this article and listen to Episode 22 of Lucid Planet Radio). While being a ‘control freak’ is not usually considered a mental illness or psychiatric disorder, psychologists tend to diagnose very extreme cases of it as a form of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

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