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Recovering from Loss of Identity
January 24th, 2017
By Richard West
Guest writer for Wake Up World
We will all experience some form of loss of identity in our lives, particularly in old age or terminal illness. We may have identified with certain roles for most of our lives, but these roles can all be taken away in a single moment. So how do we come to terms with and recover from this loss? How do we go beyond these identities and find the essence of who we are?
Identifying with Roles
During our lives we will naturally take on identification with certain roles or ways of being. We identify when we assume that a particular role defines us as who we are, and so if this role is taken away it can leave us feeling empty, grieving or unworthy.
Here are a few examples of typical role identities:
Identifying with the body – Perhaps you identify with your ability — being strong, fast or co-ordinated — or perhaps you take pride in the way your body looks.
Identifying with the mind – Perhaps you are good at critical thinking or take pride in being logical. Descartes famously said ‘I think, therefore I am.’
Identifying with beliefs – how we see the world and what we believe in can be cornerstones of our personal identity.
Identifying with your job/hobbies – Many people subtly believe they are what they do. Perhaps you make a difference to many peoples lives.
Identifying with family roles – ‘I am a good daughter, parent, grandparent, brother’ etc. ‘I am always there for those I love’.
Identifying with a person – This is probably one of the strongest identities and it’s why we grieve so much when we lose someone. Basically we identify with who we are or how we feel when the other is around us. This will be covered in more detail in the next article.
All these things can be the cornerstones of our personal identity, yet they can be taken away in a heartbeat. Injuries and illnesses that leave us bed ridden and unable to go to work, do our hobbies or socialise with friends and family. Or the degeneration of the mind that comes with old age, terminal illness or Alzheimer’s disease.
Also by Richard West:
- Listening Through the Noise: Steps Toward Inner Peace
- Why Die Consciously?
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