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Man who tried to turn his poop into gold is jailed
Source: Dateline Zero
A Northern Ireland man who tried to turn his own faeces into gold has been jailed for three months after the experiment set his house on fire
Paul Moran, 30, caused around £3,000 worth of damage to his home in a block of flats at Derrin Park in Enniskillen in July. He was arrested and tried because of the property damage, and for endangering others with his strange-as-shit alchemy experiment.
Rather than attempting to turn lead into gold, he used crap. Something went awry while warming the dung with an electric heater.
Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others.
Judge McFarland told him: “Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products. It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”
Moran, in addition to being a would-be alchemist, also has a history of drug abuse. Normally drug abusers who are hard-up for money simply cook up meth … but then again, that can have the same home-on-fire result.
LOL. Even trying to make a philosophers stone can get you into trouble these days.