| Story Views | |
| Now: | |
| Last Hour: | |
| Last 24 Hours: | |
| Total: | |
Dreams of Thanksgiving
Last year I celebrated the holiday– did all the cooking and such– utterly alone. I invited a few other people who were alone for the holiday to join me, but no one showed up. My husband was in Ohio, and I was stuck in Oregon with our elderly dog– but honestly?– I was relieved not to be in Ohio again. I was still too bitter over Mona at that time to deal with seeing her widower and children quite so soon. All the same, I had a lovely time on my own and though I wished I could have had more people with me to share the holiday, I decided to appreciate my stress-free day to the fullest.
This year… my husband is at least home with me, but once again we have no family to share the day with. My sister insists on being with my mother on this day (and I won't set foot in my mother's house for more than a few minutes at a time– yikes!) All my friends in Oregon have families of their own to join, so that's out. And all of Gerick's family is in Ohio of course (thank the gods!)
I have to be honest– I don't really want to spend Thanksgiving with either of our families. Both sides of the family are too messed up– even the few I get along with have issues that make relaxing at a feast-type meal rather difficult. However, I wish I had friends that could come over. Its the only time I feel a little jealous of my friends' families– I dislike being the lowest social priority in everyone's life.
When you have neighbors close by with close ties to family and people actually get along and SEEK OUT one another's company I almost can't imagine what that's like. Dysfunctional families are all I've ever known. I admit I envy and I covet just a bit…
I love my independence and my freedom to be who I want to be and do as I like to do– but make no mistake, non-conformity carries a high price. I'm obviously willing to pay it because look at where I am! But a few times a year I feel some pangs of regret and Thanksgiving is one of them.
I wish I was more loved than I am.
2012-11-22 02:40:11
Source:
