| Online: | |
| Visits: | |
| Stories: |
| Story Views | |
| Now: | |
| Last Hour: | |
| Last 24 Hours: | |
| Total: | |
5th IFS Support Group Meet
We went over the Inner Critic or Judge, which also is a survival part everyone possesses– and one I think most people are familiar with…
The reason we have it is to prevent us from making awful mistakes. Unfortunately, this part (or parts) takes on the attitudes and voices of people who criticized us or even put us down and bullied us. Especially those from our childhood like parents, teachers, and other adults who had influence and power over us. We don't have the judgement as kids to discern the difference between justified criticism and unfair bullying. Because those adults can really hurt us (and groups of peers often have the same effect upon us in our teens…) we create a double of them in our own mind so we can anticipate and hopefully avoid more pain by pleasing them…
Which is the major factor behind the troublesome Rays I've been battling for the last 8 years or so. Of course, I'm trying to improve relations, but it IS difficult to not hate the poisonous bullshit that got imposed upon me. I see those hateful messages as being foreign to my psyche. They don't belong inside my head, and I'm sick of dealing with enemies from my past as I remember them sometimes decades ago! It seems so unfair to have to carry Dark Critics along with me long after I've been rid of them in my Waking Life!
So the goal is to convince them to give up their old habits in exchange for a more helpful role. I don't know how well that will work, but I'll give it a shot. Supposedly its worked for others, so why not?
I don't feel like sharing the stuff from the Inner Critic. Its all excruciatingly predictable anyways… “I'm doing this for your own good, yadda yadda…” Yeah, sure– I've heard it all before. *shakes head*
Then we went on to discuss the False Self or Selves, the Mask or Persona– as opposed to our Core or Spiritual Selves. Mine came out as a group, rather than as one– and I just went with it…
WE ARE THE ONES WHO:
~ are always looking for answers
~ dream and reach for more
~ possess soft and fuzzy feelings
~ deceive and trick
~ put on a happy face
~ come up with creative solutions
~ get confused
~ get hurt
WE CAN GIVE YOU:
~ solutions
~ fantasy
~ hope
~ space & time
~ better social skills
~ an escape
WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU:
~ trust
~ belief
~ faith
~ compassion for all selves
OTHER MESSAGE:
~ the understanding that it can be hard, but it can be fun too
I guess the point of the exercise is to face our “fakir” parts, and why we have them– because we need them to negotiate a complex social world. I get all of that and I wasn't particularly surprised by what came up. My “mask” self is a little more charming and political than the “real me” — but I really don't have a powerful Mask or Persona. As a Type 4, my fake selves are more engaged in my pretend fantasy lives. I tend towards reflexive honesty as a default setting in the real world. It gets me in trouble a LOT, but on the other hand…? It has saved my soul as well. I don't carry a lot of guilt, and I don't have to try to remember what bullshit story I'm peddling today.
My biggest problem is that I need a STRONGER MASK. I need to have a more professional and political persona to deal with everyday bullshit that currently sets me back. My Rays are too weak, and the result is that I'm too honest, too emotionally naked, and therefore vulnerable to things that I may otherwise be able to easily duck.
Part of my problem is that my bullshit side, which has a purpose, is too thin and useless.
That's not to say that I have to embrace lies and politics forever. I think ideally, when I'm stronger, I can afford to live more authentically most of the time. However, I'm not strong enough for that quite yet. I skipped ahead. The Rays are supposed to protect my more vulnerable sides or aspects, and when I knocked them aside, I exposed my Shadows before I had protections for them.
Whoops…!
I think I get it now, though. I know what to do and it makes sense in a profound way.
Source: http://lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1170277.html
