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When Mocking Laughter Is Healing
One thing I wanted to discuss more about my time hanging out and painting with Camilla was one of our talks. I finally brought her up to date on the whole Fara & Tameka debacle. She was astonished, to say the least.
For more on that– look here: http://lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1114644.html
Anyways, when I told her what Tameka said, that she suspected I had some hidden subconscious agenda to cause harm to Fara, even induce her to commit suicide by my harsh words– at that point, Camilla turned to look at me with wide eyes and just started laughing her ass off! I actually found myself protesting and stammering that its not the first time I've been accused of having some deep, dark, secret evil side. She fell apart into gasping giggles, and as I watched and listened, I felt a knot unravel and dissipate away on relieving mental winds…
When she could talk, she was saying how stupid and ridiculous such an accusation was, “I've known you for 7 years and we worked together for almost 4 and you're not some monster! Who could ever say that? You're one of the nicest people I know! That's totally insane! And everyone has a 'secret dark side'– so what!? I mean, people think I'm a sweet girl, but I've punched people and stolen credit cards. You've never done anything even slightly like that in your whole life, but you're an evil mastermind? WOW!” She laughed merrily again.
Remember, THIS is what Camilla looks like:
At her most vampish with lots of costume make-up, but usually she looks even more young, innocent, and sweet.
I reminded her that I've had an issue with being accused of having a secret evil agenda a number of times. She's shook her head and waved a dismissive hand, “Everyone in disputes gets THAT thrown at them. You're actually not very secret at all. You tell the truth and you're really open about it and you'll say something sometimes that people don't want to hear, but you're only trying to help them. You're actually really nice about it, too. Nicer than most people who have an issue with someone.”
But what about my being seriously annoying and acting superior to people?
“You can be a bit of a mother hen when you're teaching people something, but that's okay. I LIKE that you show me things and tell me what you think. We've even had a couple of disagreements, but once you've told your side, you always back off and leave me alone. I can live with that. I don't know, Lucy, I think you've just run into a lot of assholes!”
Yeah, I've heard that before.
Then we discussed how many of those asshats were Gen Xers. Because it IS odd that, other than Cat and Robin- 2 ladies I've known since childhood- almost all my friends are under 35 or over 55. Millennials and Boomers. Gen X, for the most part, seem so cynical, selfish, and– harsh! I say this though I am one of them and I get it, but wow! I don't get near the issues with younger and older people than those closer to my age! I was talking to another friend on the phone who is in her 60s, very comfortably, just this morning, and I realized it all over again… I keep looking for people my age to befriend, but even those without kids and crazy job hours just seem reluctant to open up, and fewer still seem interested in friendship in any real sense.
Camilla continued to tease me throughout the day about how evil I was, until even I was giggling along with her. It really is just that ridiculous. Hearing my friend just lose it at the very idea was healing in a way I never would have believed. I think I needed to be made fun of– because something about her laughter tore through my self-doubts and hurt feelings like nothing else did. Bless that girl! She has no idea what a kindness she did me, mocking me to my face like that! =^D
Source: http://lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/1134478.html
