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Writer Becky Akers scored one for liberty by taking TSA Union Astroturfer “Ron” up on his interview offer with these questions:
Hi, Ron—
Thanks for your offer; I’d like to ask a few questions and either publish your answers as a straight interview or incorporate them in an article. I have written for Barron’s, the Christian Science Monitor, the Washington, New York, and Denver Posts, the Ottawa Citizen, and many other publications and websites.
1) How did you begin working for the TSA? Did you wake up one morning and say, “Ah, I’d like to make little kids cry by stealing their teddy bears and grope pilots until they puke”? Or was Wal-Mart not hiring that week?
2) Have you ever read the US Constitution? Does the Fourth Amendment mean anything to you? Or do you figure it no longer applies to pervs in your exalted line of “work”?
3) Do you ever feel badly when you see your neighbors losing their homes to foreclosure while you sponge off their taxes?
4) Could you share with us exactly what it feels like to squeeze another guy’s junk? Readers want to know. Did it take you a while to adapt to these new “duties,” or did you take to them naturally? If the latter, does that worry you?
5) Along those same lines, if screeners are such great folks, why haven’t we read of mass resignations over management’s orders to sexually assault passengers?
6) How many of your co-”workers” have kicked the magnetometers when attractive women walk through them? How many times have you done that? What opportunities do you foresee with the new carcinogenic scanners?
7) The TSA has so far slaughtered one man (Rigoberto Alpizar, Dec 2005) and is morally culpable for the death of a woman (Carol Anne Gotbaum, Oct 2007). How would you suggest passengers best protect themselves from you and your accomplices, especially now that you are sexually assaulting them?
8 ) Do you agree with your co-”worker” in LA who proclaimed after work one day, “I am god”? On the other hand, the TSA tied with the IRS in a poll a few years ago as America’s most hated bureaucracy. How do you and other screeners reconcile these disparate positions?
9) Given the public’s mood at the moment, do you fear Congress will abolish the TSA? What are your plans for employment in that case? Does the thought of honest work scare you?
10) Do you feel at all guilty for helping push America towards a police state? If not, why not?
I’d appreciate a response ASAP as I’m on deadline. I may also have additional questions and follow-ups.
For liberty,
Becky
Hilarious. “Ron”, whom I’ve seen posing as a TSA critic elsewhere, could not be bothered to respond. Read the full article here.