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7-Eleven Offers Prostate Exam with Slurpee and Chili Dog Purchase

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 17:58
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(Before It's News)

DALLAS – Top executives at 7-Eleven announced that the company plans to implement prostate examinations into its ever growing menu of services. Speaking to a large group of 7-Eleven employees, senior director of sales Gilbert Mann expressed his excitement about adding prostate exams in five million 7-Eleven stores by August. The response from employees was mixed. While many expressed surprise, others sighed with resignation amongst a smattering of applause from the executives attending the meeting.

Gilbert Mann explained that 7-Eleven is doing its part to help combat the staggering costs of health care in the U.S. He said that 7-Eleven will not be doing PSA testing (prostate specific antigen) because it requires drawing blood from the customer. Instead, the company will focus solely on digital rectal examinations.

We were brainstorming to try and figure out a way to lower the monthly costs of our rubber glove orders. Because we sell hot food items behind the counter, the law requires that all employees wear rubber gloves when handling food. An associate happened to mention reading an article about the singer Meatloaf getting a prostate exam during our surprise inspection at one of our 7-Eleven stores. I was watching an employee serve a steaming plate of nachos to a customer after he’d just changed the oil on a customer’s Subaru. That’s when the light bulb lit up above my head and I yelled out Prostate Exams!, scaring the living daylights out of customers and employees alike!”

read the rest here:
http://www.thedailyrash.com/7-eleven-off…g-purchase



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