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Stuff You Should Know: The Illuminati

Thursday, April 18, 2013 4:52
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Stuff You Should Know: The Illuminati

IlluminatiIf all you know about the Illuminati was taught to you by one Professor Dan Brown, then you are in for a treat, my friend. Because there is a lot more to this lovable group of invisible puppet masters than just secret murders and a conspiracy to set up a new world order. A lot more. For example:

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1. The Bavarian Connection

Pope

Both the current Pope and the Illuminati were born in Bavaria, possibly on the same day, but probably not, because the Illuminati is 234 years old. Bavarian philosopher and professor Adam Weishaupt founded the secret club on May 1, 1776, and modeled it after the equally sneaky Freemasons. Some say the point of the Illuminati was to overthrow all the monarchies and state governments of Europe, but all those sources are also shady blogs created in 1997 and festooned with blinky dollar signs and pyramids. We’re going to go ahead and take their word for it, though.

2. The Illuminati was Wildly Popular – At First

Illuminati

Enlightened men all over Europe were on secret club rolls like white on rice. But they didn’t call themselves ‘Illuminati,’ they preferred ‘Perfectibilists,’ which is an even more prickish name, isn’t it? Within ten years the club claimed over 2000 members throughout Europe. But super secret white man club parties rarely last, and this one lost a ton of steam when the ruler of Bavaria banned all hush-hush clubs in 1784. Membership dwindled, Weishaupt was ousted and the Illuminati disbanded. Or did they?

3. Yeah, They Probably Did

Dan Quayle

While the Freemasonry survived the banning and continues up until the present day, the only people who really think the Illuminati are still around are wackjob conspiracy theorists. And the first conspiracy theory revolving around the Illuminati had to do with the French Revolution. This is how it went:

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