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If you’re like me, you might be surprised to learn just where zombies turn up. For instance, an undead king-o-pop might show up in a video game. Or in a humor-drivenwarning from the Center for Disease Control. Or, as it turns out, amongst contingency plans by the Pentagon.
Buried on the military’s secret computer network is an unclassified document, obtained by Foreign Policy, called “CONOP 8888.” It’s a zombie survival plan, a how-to guide for military planners trying to isolate the threat from a menu of the undead — from chicken zombies to vegetarian zombies and even “evil magic zombies” — and destroy them.
“This plan fulfills fictional contingency planning guidance tasking for U.S. Strategic Command to develop a comprehensive [plan] to undertake military operations to preserve ‘non-zombie’ humans from the threats posed by a zombie horde,” CONOP 8888′s plan summary reads. “Because zombies pose a threat to all non-zombie human life, [Strategic Command] will be prepared to preserve the sanctity of human life and conduct operations in support of any human population — including traditional adversaries.”
Ah, the undead sure do create cause for such strange bedfellows. It’s a little bit heartwarming that the Pentagon would see fit to team up with our more-human adversaries against the zombie horde, isn’t it? Imagine: the Taliban and the American military hand in hand, standing tall and steadfast against wave after wave of the undead. It’s equal parts poetic and idealistic.
Now, lest anyone take this too seriously, like the CDC’s warning, the Pentagon would like to stress that they don’t actually think that this zombie apocalypse is, you know, going to happen.