Perfectionism and Fear: The Emotion Behind Getting It “Just Right”

By Paul Brundtland

Many of us know that feeling, that nagging voice inside saying “No, I want it THAT way”.

One can argue that perfectionism can bring out the best in us and others in certain situations. The great inventors, artists, scientists, engineers and architects in history undoubtedly found themselves struggling to realize exactly what was in their heads, and pushing those involved past what had been previously considered acceptable.

But for many of us perfectionists, we’re often not talking about finding the perfect angle for a structural member in a building. We might be more at the scale of finding the perfect angle for the hat on our head or getting our look for the day perfect. Maybe it’s the perfect way to end an email or expecting the perfect response at the perfect time from a colleague, friend or partner.

“What’s wrong with that?”, you may ask. Well, nothing, if it causes you no tension and doesn’t drive the people around you mad.