Tories accidentally ban themselves under new anti-extremism laws [Satire]

(Before It's News)

Theresa May, UK Home Secretary

The incoming Conservative Government is to be immediately disbanded after it was discovered they’re illegal under new laws forbidding ‘extremist groups’.

“Frankly, it’s all a bit embarrassing,” Prime Minister David Cameron told the Today programme.

“We rushed in new powers to ban any groups with extreme views that threaten the fabric of society.”

“It was meant to sort out all these dodgy Muslim johnnies that the last Labour Government flooded the country with, but then it leaked that Gove wants to bring back hanging.”

“We never dreamed we’d be affected, firstly because we’re 99% white and not very beardy, and secondly, because multi-millionaires are above the law anyway.”

Extremism banned

The unfortunate news reached Number 10 after several leading lawyers examined the draft Bill in detail and concluded that summary executions, instituting forced labour for sick and disabled people and abolishing all human rights was “a bit Hitler-y”.

All the lawyers involved were subsequently also banned by Downing Street as ‘enemies of the state’.

Fresh elections are expected to be held within 6 weeks, with pundits predicting a landslide victory for more moderate parties, like UKIP and the EDL.

[Source]

Philosophers stone – selected views from the boat

http://philosophers-stone.co.uk

• Ohio CopBlocker Jailed for 90 Days for Sitting in Front of a Police Cruiser
• Officer shoots man wanted for hammer attacks in NYC (VIDEO)
• Detailed Hand Reflexology Map
• Is It Time for Civil Disobedience?
• Press Freedom Banned In Ukraine
• Peruta En Banc oral arguments to be heard in San Francisco on 16 June, 2015
• Callaway X2 Hot Driver suggesting that the boycott was affecting the company’s stock value
• Ping G30 Irons Puparo has compiled the following text through thorough research. Only 2 months into the season Molinas was suspended. Athorities were interested in an earlier game against the Boston Celtics in which Molinas was benched in the first half and when he returned with a minute remaining in the game he committed two flagrant fouls against Bob Cousy.
• Callaway Legacy He received numerous awards for his children’s books and his novel Angelo was made into a children’s opera. Contemporary Realism GenreMost modern British novelists tackle modern problems and approach such subjects quite frankly. His book Trainspotting delved deep into the stark realism of urban youth in Edinburgh hooked on heroin.
• Father Of Two Who Steals Food Because Of Hunger Let Off By Judge…..