Yesterday it was all over the Nazi news and the internet that purportedly the ISIS chief executioner Jihadi John was killed by a “flawless” U.S. air strike directed at him.

Indeed, “flawless” is the expression that was broadly publicized.

The truth is, ABC News is reporting ISIS’s celebrity Mossad agent er, decapitator “evaporated” (yes, evaporated) when an air strike targeted his auto based on an unnamed U.S. official (always unnamed, but he’s “official,” so we should absolutely believe every statement he claims).

evaporated

Good thing there is nobody to truly verify anything, huh? You realize, what with him being all evaporated and such.

What a great time to trot out aimlessly find and kill off a intensely publicized boogeyman perfectly, not unlike that one time Obama professed he killed Osama bin Laden after holding off the raid at least two other times like it did not even matter when America finally took out the man it boasts was responsible for 9/11 (probably because Osama died years ago)!

This remarkable (as in, astounding) innovative perspective fits perfectly in the ongoing ISIS propaganda plot the government and its Nazi news media are selling America…

“Facts” like the terror group frequently persuades women with kittens and Nutella spread, or that they were maniacally lowering hostages into tanks to drown them while advanced camera rigs shot their deaths underwater like cartoon bad guys in a Jerry Bruckheimer film!

(And don’t forget they were also putting explosive necklaces on hostages and blowing their heads off and locking hostages in vehicles then firing RPGs on them from a distance and filming that, as well!)

And who could overlook that time when former Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel once explained to reporters at the Pentagon that the “tremendously well-funded” terrorist group ISIS is “beyond anything we’ve seen,”

worrying Americans into conformity with yet another unofficial war, this time in Syria (which could not possibly be about the CIA trying to bump Assad, oh no no no of course not).

The truth is, ISIS was apparently so sophisticated and powerful driving around the Middle Eastern countryside in their fleet of Toyota passenger trucks, that the terror group was able to almost completely allude the U.S. – a nation that allegedly has one of the most advanced military forces and one of the most predominant high-tech surveillance networks on the face of the planet – and somehow ISIS only got larger, obtained even more ground, and grew stronger for over a year, costing America hundreds of millions in the “training of moderate rebels” to battle them in the meantime (however, in some way only ending up with five guys or so because the rest defected to, you guessed it, ISIS!)

…

That is, obviously, until Russia showed up last month and was capable to somehow wipe out about half the terrorist group’s facilities in a week.

But hey, the U.S. finally was able to evaporate Jihadi John, so yay, go ‘Murica!

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