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I was going to write a profound article about how dreams are so important in our writing lives and how I endorse napping as a work event. Then I changed my mind and was going to write something about not letting the opinions of others determine how you feel about a book, your work, yourself, etc…and use a catchy title or quote from Gone with the Wind (ie: “Frankly, My Dear, I don't give a damn.” ) and as I was pondering, I heard a noise outside the kitchen window. I'm easily distracted so I went to check out the noise (and put on the kettle for a cup of tea) and here is what I found (see pic on right):
I spent a good ten minutes watching these two and decided that it's time we have a chat about effective communication. These two are still at it outside and boy are they loud…but in the time I watched them, I was very confused about what was going on. The cat on the left is a pregnant female and the cat on the right is a young male. They are screaming at one another and the male is clearly the aggressor as you can see the female is backed into a corner. She isn't helpless however and she isn't backing down. Both tails are still wagging happily and their ears are upright. At first glance one might think he is courting her but keep in mind she is already pregnant. I still have no idea what they are doing, and I have no intention of going back to become a cat psychologist. However, these two are clearly communicating with one another and that's what matters most.
The cat fight left me asking myself:
Have you ever had a disagreement with a friend? Are you the Rory Gilmore who wants to talk it out and make it all better or are you Lucy who needs some time to yourself to sort things out? (from Season 7 of the Gilmore Girls). Are you always one or the other or can you be both? Have you ever had a miscommunication with a co-worker, associate, or friend? Could that miscommunication been avoided with effective and clear communication? Could you say something differently or do something better that would eliminate or reduce these errors in the future?
I think we can all agree we've had a communication breakdown at some point in our lives and the human race as a whole could benefit from clearer communication. My head is still spinning trying to figure out how we do this though.
When I was growing up, effective communication wasn't quite as tricky as it is today. We had telephones (and they were connected to the wall if you must know), letters (that were stamped and mailed), in person conversations, and then these intricately folded notes we would pass back and forth in the halls at school. If you were talking on the phone or speaking in person you could watch someone's body language or listen to the tone of their voice and know if your message was being received in the way you intended it. With our written letters and notes, you could read and re-read what you wrote to make sure it would make sense. These aren't fool-proof and we still had disagreements and communication breakdowns, but they were few and far between.
Fast forward to 2017…
I'm not even sure how to effectively communicate in the present age. There's snap chat, twitter, facebook, messenger, tinder, texting, instagram, and the list goes on and on. I recently offended someone and lost a long time friend because she thought an article I wrote was about her. Even though I explained that it wasn't, the damage was done. A simple social media post can be interpreted many different ways (- especially if you post those vague updates that are seeking attention but that's a different article entirely).
I'm here as a mother, writer, businesswoman, friend, daughter, and wife…and I'm begging of you – leave some comments, suggestions, and ideas of how I can effectively communication in 2017. How can I teach my children to effectively communicate? What works and what doesn't work?
On a side note, the cats have resolved their issues and my tea is delicious. Enjoy your weekend and thanks for being such awesome readers, writers, followers and friends!
Hugs,
~Crystal
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