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[Column] Wake up and find the way to go
A friend of the apartment owner came to install the washing machine last night.
Because he kept on asking me what I do and if I had a “proper” journalism education etc.., I told him about Fukushima accident.
In this far remote town of Romania, he has hardly heard about Fukushima accident and thought it was shut down 5 years ago.
I casually explained the situation but I stopped because it was so obvious that he was turning so sad and depressed. Welcome to my world.
It’s about a year (+ 1 week) since I left Europe to North America last year and had interrogationS at Vienna airport and Toronto airport. I was even scared of writing about that. The situation hasn’t changed much but I’m used to it.
I haven’t seen a bird with a suitcase. I had to leave so many things on the way.
Having no home, but only 2 jackets and 3 pairs of pants is one of the most scary things in the world. However I’m not going to quit it. My anger against the media, old industry, and hope for the next world are overwhelming my fear.
Since I went to North America, Summer, Autumn, Winter passed and Summer is coming back again.
It was Autumn when I was in Brooklyn. Decreasing temperature and cold winds can make you insecure. I didn’t even know how to live after leaving America in November. Should I go to Morocco? Romania ? Cuba ? I had no idea what I was doing next summer. Looking back that time, I feel funny and I feel the same anxiety about the next year.
However again, I was always saved by someone on the way, mentally and physically. You never know what tomorrow brings. We Japanese lost the stable base. The situation is changing increasingly rapidly. The only thing that I know is they will absolutely get stuck if they try to repeat yesterday because tomorrow is not yesterday.
This apartment in Arad is actually a house built in 1885. It has the second floor but nobody has ever seen it over 100 years. It has a storage in the basement floor, which may be good to stock wine. Nobody is living in both sides of the house. It’s entirely quiet. I’m missing the BOSE speaker that I bought in Japan. I had to leave it in Canada. It was like a symbol of my old life in Japan. It’s a kind of funny that the most unnecessary thing is the heaviest and the largest in your suitcase.
My life changed when I left Japan. It changed when I left America again. Nobody tells me what to do, where to go. I’m trying to discipline myself not to think if I made some mistake in my past. If I’m a vampire, living forever only with blood, maybe I should look back sometimes, but I don’t have infinite amount of time. It’s too soon to judge anyway.
Today and yesterday morning, I couldn’t seriously remember where I was sleeping. It happens.
but I know where I’m heading for. Every time I close my eyes, I can see the not-so-little Japan. I open my eyes and try to find out the way to go.
Source: http://fukushima-diary.com/2013/06/column-wake-up-and-find-the-way-to-go/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=column-wake-up-and-find-the-way-to-go
