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“No Joke: University of Utah Now Offering ‘Video Game Scholarships’ For Our Perpetual Millenial Children”

Wednesday, April 5, 2017 18:33
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“No Joke: University of Utah Now Offering ‘Video Game Scholarships’ 
For Our Perpetual Millenial Children”
by Piper McGowen

“So, this is the level we are at…

In a nation where the majority of jobs are set to be replaced by robots, the average young adult does not believe he is fully an adult until age 30 and most twenty somethings still live at home with mom and dad, one major university has officially declared that competitive “video gaming” is now a “sport” worthy of scholarship money.

Via Bloomberg:The University of Utah will become the first big-time sports school to offer scholarships for competitive video gaming, so far the most high-profile entry into collegiate esports. Backed by the Salt Lake City school’s video game development program, Utah’s first varsity esports team will play Riot Games’ popular League of Legends and compete in Riot’s collegiate league. More teams in other games will be announced this year.

Utah is the first school in the “Power Five” – the five richest athletic conferences in college sports – to offer scholarships for video gaming, lending a high-profile endorsement to the the rapidly-growing industry. “We want others schools to join us,” said A.J. Dimick, who will run the new esports program. “Let’s move this along together.”

Hey, we all like video games as much as anyone, but a college scholarship for playing World of Warcraft? Because, you know, that’s going to end in gainful employment. “I couldn’t make it to class today, had to gear up for the big game… of Legend of Zelda.”

So our perpetual man and women children are going to head off to college to… professionally play video games? Maybe they can do that while they get a certificate in social media management? Maybe they can do that while they’re learning about new made up gender neutral pronouns in their microaggression-free safe spaces?

These are supposed to be our centers of “higher” learning. If that’s where we’re headed as a society, can you imagine what’s next?”

“We’re so freakin’ doomed!”
- The Mogambo Guru


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