Principles of a Successful Relationship
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 9:16
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I was once in a counselors office and saw a plaque on the wall with four words on it. The words were build maintain defend blame. I asked him what this meant and this is what he told me.
“I use this in all my counseling sessions to show people the basics of relationships. It doesn’t matter if it’s a husband/wife relationship, or a boss/employee relationship, or a child/parent relationship, this is the basis of all of them, and you can tell how healthy or how sick your relationship is by seeing where you are in it.”
“The object of all relationships is to continually build your relationship by doing things that will enhance your relationship. Things that will score you points. Things that go beyond average. Things that cost you something and for which you ask nothing. They can be little things or big things, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are continually doing something to take your relationship to a higher level. You can’t ever let up on this or you will sink to the next level.”
“If you stop building your relationship, you will start maintaining what you have hoping that it doesn’t slip away. But just maintaining gets you nowhere. It’s like spinning your tires hoping that you will get out. You are still going nowhere. You begin living a mediocre lifestyle hoping that things will someday get better. Eventually, you stop maintaining and drop another level.”
“Once you stop maintaining you begin to defend your actions. Accusations and excuses are forefront and finger pointing starts. It’s easy to find reasons why it’s someone or something else that caused such and such to happen. One begins to justify everything. There is no end to the poor me stories.”
“The lowest rung is when you begin to outright blame everyone and everything else for your demise. If only so and so didn’t do this or that, and if only this or that situation hadn’t occurred then the outcome would have been different. Everything is someone or something else’s fault, not mine.”
And this is how all relationships progress. Can you see where you are in them? Can you see where others are? It’s never too late to kick it up a notch. Thank God for those that keep building for they will reap the rewards of their efforts.
For more on successful living go to www.ItsHisStory.com
To see other people, nature and still think there is no God. But let a spark plug fit in correctly, and he believes there is a God.
A blind man directing others into the Synagogues of Satan believing the altar and Eucharist established by Pharisees is of God (Hebrews 13:10, 1 Corinthians 11:26). Pharisees are children of Hell and condemned to Hell and to follow a Pharisee is the height of stupidity, as converts to a doctrine of Pharisees go to Hell (Matthew 23:15). Pharisee Paul is a Pharisee (Acts 23:6).
Bad people turn from evil, and if not doing evil then they are right with God already. Directing people into the Gentile churches is done by people who do not know God or the real Christ. They are followers of the false christ presented by Pharisee Paul.