By Jake Bridge

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

Marine Corps Officers don’t file for Conscientious Objector (CO) status. It’s just “not done”. But, as a First Lieutenant in the US Marines, I filed for Conscientious Objector status in June of 2014.

Why? On May 20, 2014 I woke up and remembered what it is to truly be alive. The feeling was wonderful and I felt connected to everyone and everything. The only hitch was I was two and a half years into a four year contract as an officer in the Marines. All of a sudden I found myself an advocate for peace in an aggressive and violent military branch, with no easy way out; and I could no longer reconcile my role in the military with my own spiritual wellbeing.

Now that my CO application has been approved, I have decided to tell my story and let others in a similar position know that this kind of thing is happening. For now, the best I can do is live my life as I would have others live – or as the Corps puts it, “Set the example” – and live the Marine Corps’ core values of honor, courage, and commitment.

The Conscientious Objector

Becoming an “enlightened” individual in the Marine Corps is quite a f***ing experience!

The US Marines has a culture of psychological ill-health. The demonizing of other countries and militaries helps us to rationalize and moralize our own perceived need to make war and to kill, but the truth is, the soldier who maims or kills the enemy ultimately damages his own psyche. The suicide rate in the U.S. military is as high as it has ever been, sexual assault and harassment are a constant plague, and basic respect for human dignity is lost on far too many. Yet we pretend all the time that we are not only “okay”, but that we are the biggest alpha dog on the block.

I decided I was going to join the Marines when I was still in high school. I didn’t really know what I wanted to be. I was always trying to fit into the macho, American mold but it wasn’t a good fit for me. I was always sensitive. But still, I was taken with the honourable military ideal. This was in 2004, when everyone wanted to ‘go get the terrorists’. I thought, ‘I’m protecting America and our freedom. And my mom and my dad. And I’m going to die for this country.’ Besides, what could be cooler than being a Marine officer?

By 2011, after many years of hard work, I was awarded as the top Naval Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) graduate from the University of Colorado. But, by May 2014 I had already considered becoming a CO for almost a year. In that time I had spoken to a therapist, a Unitarian chaplain, and others that I trusted, but each time I knew that I wasn’t ready. The question wasn’t if I was going to file for CO, but when I would do it. Then, in the night from May 19 to May 20, I had a transformative dream about the finiteness of my life. I knew the time was now.

On June 16, 2014, less than a month later, I submitted an application for CO status to my commanding officer. The entire deliberation process – filled with investigations, rebuttals, and long waits – took just under 10 months. Every week was harder than the one before, and I cried often before going to work. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of everything. The wind rustling through bushes, pink sunlight on the clouds, and the smell of fresh ground coffee reduced me to sobs. Driving to work I wanted to stop at every single house, hug the people inside, and tell them how happy I was to be alive with them.

I cried because going to work meant leaving all that beauty behind.

Many people told me not to file for CO status, that doing so would would make it harder for me to get a job on the outside. I was even offered an opportunity to rescind my application in exchange for a better position in my battalion. I never doubted my decision though, because my conscience left me no choice in the matter. If I had doubts about my new path, they disappeared in April when the Marine Corps approved my application and set my discharge date for May 15, 2015 — which incidentally, also happened to be International Conscientious Objectors Day.

Conscientious Objector Application

The following is taken from my Conscientious Objector application, which you can view here.

A description of the nature of the belief which requires the applicant to seek separation from the Marine Corps or assignment to noncombatant training and duty for reasons of conscience.

I don’t believe that humans should be killing other humans. The idea that humans from one arbitrary piece of land they were born on should kill people from a different arbitrary piece of land they were born on, solely because the humans in charge of a particular piece of land decided the other humans had to die, seems ridiculous. I don’t believe that there are inherently evil people, so I don’t believe there could ever be a group of people that we could declare war on with every member “evil” and deserving death. I believe that evil people do not exist, and that no one is born evil. I believe that everyone is born a blank slate, or maybe even that they are born good. I’ve never met an evil baby.

I believe all people are products of their childhood and the experiences they acquire as they grow up. How you process your own history and experiences creates who you are. Some people process their experiences in healthy ways, but some are not so fortunate. Where you grow up, who your parents are, resources available to you, etc., have a lot to do with your ability to process these experiences. None of these are under your control. Through reading and personal experience I’ve seen how childhood trauma, sometimes going for decades untreated, can affect a person and turn them into something they are not.

I believe the vast majority of the troops who make up militaries in foreign countries join for the pay and steady, reliable work, much like American service members. That doesn’t sound like evil behavior, it sounds normal and familiar. The demonizing we do of other countries and militaries allows us to rationalize and moralize our own perceived need to make war and kill. Again, these foreign men and women are men and women just like you and me. They have fathers, mothers, brothers and children who they love, who love them, and who would mourn their death. These foreigners have done nothing personal to harm me or offend me; their only fault is being born in a different country. As such I have no more cause to harm them than I do someone from Pennsylvania or Canada. States, countries, continents: all arbitrary lines put on maps out of convenience by human beings hundreds or thousands of years ago. And these lines are used as excuses to kill one another.

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