By Reality Zen With Jenn (Reporter)
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And white people are always barefoot? Huh? Barefoot canned food eating white people…sorry, Dr. King. 

Anyway, last night two things were going on if you managed to stay awake and not switch over to the Golden Globes. One was Kim vs. The Bus vs. NeNe and the other was Cynthia and Peter starring in Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married, Three?” 

So let’s begin with Cynthia and Father Time. Remember last week when we found out that Cynthia was giving Peter’s business money, but Peter was being a colossal jerk about it? Especially during the counseling session where he basically demeaned how she has supported herself and him, implying it wasn’t a “real job?” 

Yeah…let’s pick up there. 

Peter lets Cynthia know that Uptown is now closed. The end. Thanks for playing, sorry about the tens of thousands of dollars lost. Which, understandably upsets Cynthia, because they need $20k in the next 15 days to cover their wedding. 

Um…shut up. We know Bravo’s comping part of the wedding. 

Still, it’s a bit unsettling to know that there will be no income coming in for a while. Peter tells her “don’t worry about it” (red flag #1) and Cynthia is still worried about it, because obviously if Peter could come up with $20k in 15 days, then Uptown wouldn’t be closed right now. And since Cynthia is probably good at simple reasoning, she knows this to be the case. This leads Peter to say, “I’m never telling you anything again” (red flag #2) and proceeds to kind of enjoy that he worked Cynthia up like that. (red flag #3)

So Cynthia talks to NeNe and her sister about this and both are like, “Noooooo! Postpone the wedding!” And Cynthia is against that for what seems to be, face saving purposes. This is all on camera, she’s 43 years old, and doesn’t want to look bad. Or maybe she just really wants a wedding…who knows. This is being typed by someone that doesn’t even understand big weddings.

The bottom line is Cynthia needs to stop. Father Time just seems shady and mean, and she could do a lot better. 

And now that I’ve depressed myself…it’s time to feel better about life and talk about Kim. 

Obviously Kim is being Kim all over the place because she’s trapped on a tiny bus and going through nicotine withdrawls. The only cure for this is to wear Juicy Couture sweatpants so tight that it gives you a perma-wedgie. When she tried to light that cigarette on the griddle, I was so waiting for the horsehair to go up in flames. 

Of course, Kandi is annoyed, because being locked in close quarters with Kim and Sweetie is probably like being locked in a closet with a couple of ringtailed lemurs jacked up on Red Bull. So she snaps a little on Sweetie after Sweetie tells Kim what they were saying about the whole “barefoot white people” thing. Whatever. 

Then its time to go pick up NeNe and it was like we teleported back to season 2 when NeNe was an angry  woman, and Kim was just Kim all over the place. Let’s be real. NeNe is jealous of Kim. You know she is. Hell, I’m jealous of Kim. I want what Kim has for not doing all that much. She can keep the horsehair, but sure, her life is pretty cool. NeNe on the other hand, has to work a lot harder to be second banana…

So this fight all starts with whether or not the assistants are going to stay at Kim’s Miami Poppa’s house. NeNe doesn’t want that, because she wants her camera time…it’s as simple as that. 

Being jealous brings out the worst in people so NeNe goes for the “you don’t work” angle and pretty much takes a dump on everything about Kim. Everything NeNe said is true, but realy with Kim, what is the point. She was engaged to a married man. Enough said. Then, right on cue, that horrid Jermaine Dupri interview where NeNe pretty much has a good laugh with him over Kim and “Late for the Soiree” …

“That hookah is tryin’ to be a popstar at age 47 32! Bwahahahaha!” NeNe says that they had to talk about Kim to keep the conversation going, and to that I call supreme BS, because if you’re sitting with a multi-platinum selling producer and all you can talk about is an obscure one hit wonder, you shouldn’t be an interviewer, ok?

And cue the poppin’ off NeNe, getting in Kim’s face, finger waggin’, etc. We’ve seen this before. It’s not entertaining, it’s stupid. Sit down NeNe. If Kim is such a joke, don’t come watch her shake hands at a strip mall and lip sync her songs, mmmkay?

I’m so tired of this show…remember when we were so excited for this cast at the beginning because they were such a breath of fresh air and fun? Now they’re as depressive as the rest of them. I almost want more Phaedra and her Phaedra-isms! 

So next week, it’s still all depressing when Cynthia breaks down at her bachelorette party. Always a good sign…

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