Mark Twain, “Congress”

 ”Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself.”

“All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots,
and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.”

“…the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.”

“The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a
thing it doesn’t leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-
Well, you’d think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.”

“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly
native American criminal class except Congress.”

“Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”

- Mark Twain