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Men – Seek Helpmates, Not Soulmates
Thomas Hardy and T.S. Eliot married their secretaries.
Dostoyevsky married his translator. I married my webmaster.
It was love at first site.
“Love perfection but do not seek it in another flawed human being, a woman. “
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
I wish I understood the following when I was 21. Men, marry a helpmate, not a soulmate. I have been married to one for 13 years. It works for me. If you can find a “soul mate,” I tip my hat to you.
To those who say helpmates are boring, I say “hallelujah.” I don’t depend on marriage for excitement. However my wife is not what feminists call a “doormat.” She has a masters degree and a career. She is smart, honest, good and has a great sense of humor.
So, here’s my advice in ten neat points.
1. Man is governed by his thoughts. Imagine a steak and he salivates. Imagine a beautiful half-naked woman in handcuffs and he gets aroused. Whoever controls his thoughts controls him. Obviously, it’s best if he controls his own thoughts.
2. Society suffers from mass hypnosis. We have been inducted by Hollywood into a bogus religion of sex and relationships. Hollywood’s Cabalist Jewish assumptions have become our assumptions. They include: 1. “Love” is the meaning and purpose of life. 2. Male life is impossible without women who are paragons of virtue and beauty. 3. Sexual intercourse with one of these angels is the highest experience known to man. 4. Happiness can only be found in “relationships.” The drumbeat, “you are so wonderful,” “I need your love” and “I can’t live without you” is repeated ad nauseam by popular music.
3. Our whole notion of romantic love is framed in pseudo religious terms. Our “relationship” is a mockery of our relationship to God. We love perfection. People are not perfect. Our
love should properly be directed toward self-perfection. We do not
require any other love-object but God, i.e. the person God wants us to be. “Be ye therefore perfect even as your father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:48
4. For heterosexual men, “love” usually involves a woman. But, are women loveable? Most men mistake sexual attraction for love. After survival, sex is our most powerful natural instinct. But that’s all it is. Programming. We shouldn’t allow nature to control us any more than Hollywood.
5. In the “olden days,” men looked for women who could cook, clean, sew, milk the cow and look after babies. Sometimes they could play the piano. Nowadays, many young women think they need to be good for one thing only, and that gets old fast.
6. Men were not intended to “love” women in the sense of adore them. That invariably leads to trouble. We adore what we want and we want sex. But
that gives them too much power. Let’s look at women, minus sex appeal. Let’s demystify them.
Women are different from men. They tend to be much more passive, emotional, subjective and concerned with down-to-earth practical considerations. On walks, my wife warns me about stepping in dog shit. I have my head in the clouds. She has her feet on the ground.
Women are primarily interested in security and perhaps more than men, are less scrupulous. They tend to be insecure and harbor feelings of worthlessness unless a man gives them purpose. These are fine qualities in a helpmate but are not soulmate material. Women are a different species. Paradoxically this kind of realism makes a man more, not less attractive to women, who naturally scorn men they can control. They want to be lovingly controlled. I realize there are exceptions to these generalizations.
7. The whole concept of a “soulmate” is bogus and extremely selfish. It’s based on a time when women weren’t expected to think. They would adopt their man’s ideas as well as his name. Many young men, believe it or not, are still looking for these “soulmates.”
8. Distance is actually better than intimacy. It’s intimacy elevated to a higher level. It involves a realization that “hey, you’re totally different from me”
and “are pretty limited in some ways” but “so am I in other ways and we don’t have to be alike.” It involves respecting differences. “Love” as commonly understood forces people to be closer than they need to be. It holds both men and women to an impossible standard. We’re not that loveable. I’ll settle for a bond based on respect, trust, consideration and gratitude. Marriage is better when the societal pressure “to be in love” is removed.
9. Sorry but I love the people who help and give me the benefit of the doubt. It makes me want to encourage and help them. We need to clear away the romantic aura and recognize that the basis of real love is mutual dependence not a pretty face and a slim figure.
10. We don’t recognize how oppressive and time consuming relationships and sex are. We’ve been trained to search for that “special someone” who will make us “feel good.” We are feel-good addicts. Usually, this ends in disaster because we cannot depend on others to make us feel good.
In conclusion, women used to get their meaning from serving husband and family and being loved in return. They have been reprogrammed to be selfish instead. Their hearts and their minds are at war. They are ticking time bombs.
There’s no Santa Claus. “Romantic love” is a crock. It’s usually based on some perceived advantage rather than any genuine feeling. It’s a woman’s thing, and turns men into women. I hate to see another man waste his life chasing this chimera.
I advise men to seek women who want to serve them and their goals, who want to have their children and make a home. Seek companionship not ecstasy.
Love perfection but do not seek it in a fellow flawed human being, a woman.
Source: http://henrymakow.com/2014/04/men-seek-helpmates-not-soulmates.html
