Visitors Now:
Total Visits:
Total Stories:
Profile image
By Tea Party Pundit (Reporter)
Contributor profile | More stories
Story Views

Now:
Last Hour:
Last 24 Hours:
Total:

Don’t Worry! Mayans Were Tricksters Too

Saturday, December 15, 2012 19:00
% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.

(Before It's News)

Oh, how I love this.

I may be wrong, but I don’t see many folk wringing their hands over the world ending on December 21. I’m not riding the wave in that shallow doomsday wading pool. But what if they’re right? Holy jingle bells. We’ve only got 12-13 days left.

Let me share a bit of history that you weren’t taught in school. This should erase worries and enable you to enjoy the remaining two weeks of life on this ball of dirt.

No Worries

Ah Puch, the Chief Mayan Calender Maker, organized his union buddies to strike for more corn for their calendar carving duties. Collectivism, even in their day, bred an entitlement class. They figured out that together they could shut down the calendar kiosks at the local market – just in time for the festive holiday season. What modern, progressive thinking Mayan would stand for not having a current 645 stone calendar hanging in their thatched hut? The cupcake editions were wildly popular in 644.

So it began. Chisels in hand, they marched holding heavy picket signs. The best sign read, “Will CARVE For CORN!

At first, this was no threat to Pakal The Great and the Palenque dynasty. But the rebellion began to spread. Ixtab, his lovely queen, reminded him at a royal dinner of the wise words of his ruling predecessor and mom, Lady Sak K’uk’. Ixtab leaned in and whispered in hushed tones, “Remember, Government equals force. Crush these useful idiots. We’re in charge.

With that, Pakal The Great ordered the round-up of these rabble-rousers. The human sacrifice pool was getting low anyhow.

A decade later, a remnant of tablet carvers remained. Etched in their mind and on secret pocket tablets were the accounts of blood on the altar of their king. “Never Forget – December 21, 655″. A day that would cause much freaking out 1,356 years down the road. The day Mayan tricksters ran out of room on their stone calendars.

Feel better?  :)

Doing the stuff,

Todd



Source:

Report abuse

Comments

Your Comments
Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

Top Stories
Recent Stories

Register

Newsletter

Email this story
Email this story

If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.