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Breaking News: Tyrannosaurus Rex finally extinct.
BREAKING NEWS-
Tyrannosaurus Rex finally extinct.
Last night, after the Prime Time TV programs ended, a highly skilled CIA kill team has (at the President's direction) put an end to the nearly 6 Billion year "reign of terror" by putting 3 bullets into the final ferocious lizard's tiny brain.
"It is truly a great day for America" CIA Case officer Ms. Direction, said. "The
multi-billion year (and dollar) operation has finally resulted in the extinction of the greatest threat to national security we have ever known."
The "Ultimate Predator" sometimes referred to as the King of the Dinosaurs, has long been believed extinct. As a credit to the T-REX's resolve, the massive lizard has successfully avoided US intelligence satellites, ground assets, and public sightings since the paleolithic age, by wearing a Hello Kitty costume only when it was absolutely necessary to go out, and hiding in a small network of Crepe Myrtle trees in north Texas.
High-level sources in the US government once questioned how the mighty predator was able to survive for such a long time, as his failing health and excessively exceeded lifespan would seem to be an unavoidable obstacle.
It is now known, that this was achieved only with the assistance and steadfast commitment of a fundamental Flintstonian fringe group of "pro-Dino" Eco-terrorists, who successfully planned and executed a secret attack on Scotland's Loch Ness Monster in 2005.
The attack on Nessie was hidden from the general public and subject to a media black out due to the receipt of a Flintstonian communique to the state department claiming responsibility for the event and outlining their plan to use precious DNA material retrieved from "Nessie" and lab grown stem cells to counter the aging and extinction process of the Dinosaur Leader.
"This was huge. We couldn't let anyone know until we were sure the threat had been eliminated." Ms. Direction went on to say, "Its just a testament to the vigilance and commitment of this administration to the safety of its subjects…err..citizens. Yes citizens. That's it. This is off the record, right?"
Despite the Win for our side, due to documents released on Wikileaks suggesting massive "dirty bomb" retaliation should the T-REX be caught, captured, or killed, – Civil Liberties will not be returned to citizens until the US intelligence community can positively, absolutely, beyond the shadow of a doubt prove that there are no more threats from additional lizards, sympathizers, or nuclear reprisal from PETA.
Just about the time you believe journalistic integrity has finally graced the pages of BEFORE IT’S NEWS, some wild eyed, arm waving lunatic has to go a post a total bullshit story like this in an attempt to convince the reasonable and sensible people that T-Rex is actually extinct. Absolutely unbelievable!!
Where do you crazy conspiracy minded people come from???
These things are running rampant in the sewers of most American cities and have taken over the everglades!!!
Nope, too big for sewers, they do prefer Crepe Myrtle trees though…
http://www.gobynews.com
Thanks for the comment