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Unfortunately, many women have been carefully taught to –Not be assertive! This lack of assertiveness will first be evident in school, then in relationships and often in the workplace. Society tends to blame lack of assertiveness on testosterone levels but this is most definitely not the whole deal!
The most important thing I ever learned in medical school was the following truism.
——————” Life is Bio-Psycho-Social”
This means that whatever happens to us in this life we can attribute to a combination of three factors.
———-Firstly, biological factors most determined by genetic influences that we inherit from our parents.
———-Secondly, psychological factors that influence how we see things and how we feel about things which we learn from our parents, teachers, counselors, doctors, religious leaders and just about anyone we look up to.
———Thirdly, social factors which influence our behaviors simply because we tend to watch the people around us and get clues from them about how to react in this world.
So, when we look at why women often grow up being less assertive than men it is clear that psycho-social factors are most responsible. They may often see their mothers and sisters and girlfriends waiting for the men in their lives to make life’s decisions. When this happens even simple decisions like asking someone out on a date are left to the guys. On top of this women will hear from their friends, computers and movies to —not be loud, bossy, aggressive or demanding.
Now, since this blog is about helping women to improve their relationship radar it is clear that being assertive allows women to utilize their radar otherwise they will simply keep their feelings, perceptions and intelligent ideas to themselves. When that happens–you see a guy who you think is maybe for you—-BUT! — You wait for him to come to you.
You wait for him to notice you.
You wait for him to start the conversation!
Unfortunately, this puts you in a one down position and throughout your life you will more likely be dating aggressive, overly assertive guys and miss out on many intelligent, sincere, not full of themselves guys who are looking for a sign from you that it’s OK to get closer.
So, observe carefully the guys you meet. Look for signs of intelligence, caring, friendliness and something that makes you want to know more. But, don’t just hope he’ll come to you. Invite him to a conversation so you can learn more about him.
And so, like Carly Rae Jepsen’s hit song—–call on your assertive self and–
Tell him to to ——-CALL ME, MAYBE!!
In another words, If he wants to —You have given him permission.
Listen to Carly Rae Jepsen’s take on all of this!
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2012-09-10 02:17:02
Source: http://relationshipradar.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/so-call-me-maybe/